“Medinat Yehudah Now!”

Zionism

Post Zionism Today

On The Way

A New Heart

Sorry Fellas

Sorry fellas. The Prophet Ezekiel said it, not me. We read it yesterday in synagogue on Shabbat. For those of you who couldn’t make it to shul, and for those who you who have trouble with the Hebrew, here it is in plain English. The Haftorah (Ezekiel, 36:16-38) describes the process of Redemption – what happens to the Jews when they are expelled from the Land because of their sins; and what happens to them when they return to the Land of Israel. We’ve written about this before, but our Sages require us to reread it ever year, so that the message sinks in. This is what G-d has to say via the Prophet Ezekiel:

“And when they came to the nations to which they came, they profaned My holy Name, in that people said of them, ‘These are the people of the L-rd, and they are gone out of His Land.’”

This means that when a gentile in America sees a Jew eating a hot dog at a ballgame, or lining up on the Upper East Side to see the latest movie, or studying the labels in the supermarket for microscopic OUs, or hurrying in their black coats and black hats through the Manhattan Diamond District on their way to work, the non-Jew is moved to exclaim:

“Hey, Momma, what is going down here? Looky, looky, here’s a Jew.  Didn’t G-d give him the Land of Israel to live in? What the hell is he doing here? He likes the old USA more than the Land that G-d gave him? Man, what a put down of the L-rd! Hey, brother, whatch you doin here? Why don’t you get your Jewish @@@ home?” 

A Picture Says a 1000 Words

This, in the words of the Prophet, is a desecration of G-d, or what is called a Chillul Hashem. The Jew doesn’t have to do anything bad. His mere presence in a foreign land is a profanation of G-d.

Seeing the Jews at the country club and theater, other gentiles say, “Man, I thought that G-d was all powerful. But if He can’t even keep His own people in their Land, He ain’t no super power after all. We don’t have to be afraid of Him or believe in the Torah, cause the G-d of the Jews is weak.”

This too is a desecration of G-d. In fact, Jewish life in the Diaspora is such a terrible shame, the time comes when G-d can’t bear it any more:

“But I had concern for My holy Name which the House of Israel profaned among the nations into which they came. Therefore, say to the House of Israel, ‘Thus says the L-rd G-d; I do not do this for your sakes, O House of Israel, by for the sake of My holy Name, which you have profaned among the nations to which you came. And I will sanctify My great Name which was profaned amongst the gentiles, which you have profaned in the midst of them; and the nations shall know that  I am the L-rd, says the L-rd G-d, when I shall be sanctified in you before their eyes.’”

And how does this great sanctification occur? The Prophet continues:

“For I will take you from amongst the nations, and gather you out of all countries, and will bring you into your own Land.”

The cessation of the exile is the greatest sanctification of G-d that there is. When the Jews give up Virginia, and Monsey, and Manchester, and Kyoto Japan, and return home to Israel, the gentiles proclaim the greatest of G-d for keeping His promise to the Children of Israel.

“Holy cow!” they exclaim. “The Torah is true! The Prophets are  true! G-d is the greatest super power of them all!”

With G-d’s help, we shall continue to look at this prophesy tomorrow. In the meantime, do some homework, and try reading it again. Remember, Fishman didn’t write it. It’s the word of G-d.

Medinat Yehudah

The darkest hour is just before the dawn

Secret of Rain

Kinneret low water level

So last night, I joined the holy Kabbalist, Rabbi Eliahu Leon Levi, and several dozen students, aficionados, and even journalists in a journey to Meron for an all-night prayer-fest in the tomb of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, the author of the holy Zohar. On the way, we stopped in Safed for a purifying midnight mikvah in the freezing, mountain-spring cave of the Ari. Since the winter has passed without very much rain, our supplications were focused on unclogging the heavenly pipes that have been damaged through sexual transgression, especially, the Rabbi said, the brazen gay parade that was held in Jerusalem earlier in the year and the abominable perversions that went with it.

Who is the smiling face?

Rabbi Eliahu Leon Levi

The Talmud teaches that the power over rain is one of the three keys that the Almighty has kept for Himself - the key of Rain, the key of Childbirth, and the key of the Resurrection of the Dead” (Taanit 2A).

Before exploring the connection between transgression and rain, this concept of keys must be explained. Since G-d rules over everything, what is the meaning of retaining three keys for Himself? The answer is that in establishing His sovereignty over the world, G-d has appointed celestial messengers to rule over different aspects of existence. For example, G-d Himself rules exclusively over the Land of Israel, but over every other country, He has appointed an angel. This celestial minister gives each nation its distinctive culture. Thus, the celestial minister over France is, figuratively speaking, a connoisseur of women’s fashion and perfume; the celestial minister over England prefers rugby and gin; and the angel which presides over America enjoys beer, hot dogs, and watching sports on TV.

The Ramban explains that this is the concept behind the Talmud’s striking proclamation that leaving the Land of Israel to live in the Diaspora is like worshipping idols (Ketubot 110B). Since G-d has appointed celestial ministers to rule over the nations, when a Jews prays or learns Torah in Paris or New York, his prayers and Torah learning go up via the angel who presides over that nation, strengthening the foreign country where he lives. In this sense, his worship of G-d is like idol worship, since he is not serving G-d directly. It is only in the Land of Israel, where, "The Land where eyes of our L-rd are always upon it from the beginning of the year to the end” (Devarim, 11:12), that a Jew serves the L-rd without a celestial go-between (Ramban, “Commentary on the Torah,” Vayikra, 18:25).

Hitchhiking on to Safed

Because the key of rain is in G-d’s keeping, when rain does not fall in Eretz Yisrael, we know that G-d Himself has turned off the faucet. It isn’t some freak disturbance of regional weather patterns, but, as the Talmud teaches, the result of our sins:

“Rabbi Tanchum ben Hamilai said, No rain falls unless the sins of Israel have been forgiven” (Taanit 7B). The Talmud goes on to list many transgressions that cause the withholding of rain, but to understand the secret of the matter, we will turn to the holy Zohar.

It turns out that the secret is no mystery at all, as it explicitly states in the Shema:

 “Take heed to yourselves, that your heart not be deceived, and you turn aside and worship other gods and bow down to them; and then the anger of the L-rd will be inflamed against you, and He will shut up the heaven that there be no rain, and that the Land yield not its fruit; and you perish quickly from the good Land which the L-rd gives you” (Devarim, 11:17).

The Zohar explains that bowing down to other gods means sexual transgression. Jews never believed in idols, but only worship them as an excuse to practice the sexual licentiousness that accompanied pagan rites. In punishment for misusing the “lower waters” of the seminal life force during sexual sin, G-d shuts up the heavenly “upper waters” of life sustaining rain (Zohar, Bereshit 189B). This relationship occurs specifically in the Land of Israel, because G-d’s covenant bequeathing Eretz Yisrael to the Jewish People, symbolized in the brit milah, is based on sexual holiness. 

After leaving Meron, we returned to Safed to pray at the gravesites of the Arizal and the Ramak, Rabbi Moshe Cordevero, who was dean of the Safed academy of Kabbalists, immediately preceding Rabbi Yitzhak Luria, the Ari. The Ramak explains that the heavens are associated with the “sefirah” or spiritual channel “Tiferet.” From here, the Divine blessing of rain flows forth to the earth, identified with the sefirah of “Malchut.” The channel that conducts the blessing of rain from Tiferet to Malchut is the “Yesod,” associated with the atmosphere between heaven and earth. Therefore, when the channel of Yesod is damaged, rains are withheld from the earth. Since the sefirah of Yesod also parallels the sexual organ of the Brit in man, it follows that sexual transgression causes the greatest damage to the channel of  Yesod, drying up the flow of G-d’s blessing and rain (See the commentary on the Zohar, “Matok M’Dvash,” Vayashev, 189B).

Readers who are interested in exploring this concept further are encouraged to read the condensed online introduction to our book, “Secret of the Brit.” 

After our visit to Safed, we journeyed on to Tibrias, where we prayed at the tombs of the Rambam and Rabbi Meir Bal HaNess.

Tomb of the Rambam

Rav Leon at the tomb of the Rambam

At the tomb of Rabbi Meir Bal HaNess

Readers who would like to refresh their memories about proper marital relations are advised to read Rabbi Levy’s guidelines, “Keys to a Holy Marital Union.” May we all endeavor to mend our sexual lapses, and may the Almighty have compassion upon us and grant us the blessing of rain, as it says, “And G-d saw their deeds, in that they turned from their evil way” (Yonah, 3:10).

Bagel Judaism

I’m waiting in a stopover in the Brussels airport on my way to LA to sign a writing contract for the development of the new sit-com called “Susie the Hairdresser.” Before I left Israel, my Hollywood agent called once again saying that he had received an offer from the California Kabbalah Meditation and Health Center. They are willing to pay me $10,000 to sit one day a week in their center so that people can touch my beard. Apparently, they intend to hide transparent, fiber glass wires in my beard so that people will feel an electric current when they touch it, so that the center can advertise its healing powers.

But what I want to share with you here is the strangest thing. It happened at the Ben Gurion Terminal just as I was waiting to board the airplane. Suddenly, an old man appeared beside me and said, “Whatever you do, don’t eat a bagel.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“You’ll fall asleep for 2000 years.”

Before I could ask him why, the line surged forward, and I had to show my boarding pass to get on the plane. When I looked back, the old man was gone.

Once we were in the air, I had time to ponder the meaning of the unexpected encounter. If truth be known, ever since I had accepted the offer to come to Hollywood, I had been craving to eat a bagel. Not a fake Israeli bagel, but a real Jewish American bagel. True, in Israel, we have the Kotel, and the Cave of the Patriarchs in Hevron, and the Sea of Galilee, and the holy gravesites of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochair anf the Arizal, to cite but two. But we don’t have real bagels. With all of our Israeli know-how, we have never been able to come up with a real Jewish New York bagel. And here I was dreaming about chomping into a real, fat tasty American bagel when a mysterious old man approached me with his chilling warning, that if I ate one, I would go to sleep for 2000 years.

Flying over the Mediterranean Sea, I suddenly realized what he was saying. 2000 is about the time we have been in exile, living in foreign lands. Now the countries of the Diasporas may be very enjoyable places, like the taste of a bagel, but something is missing. Diasporas can come in all sorts of flavors, just like plain, and sesame, and onion, and whole wheat bagels, but they are all empty in the middle. The center, the Land of Israel, is missing! Diasporas have synagogues, and Shabbat, and kashrut, and yeshivas, but the center, the redemptional focus, and national component of Judaism are missing. Without the Land of Israel and Jerusalem, and a Jewish calendar and army and government, and all of the mitzvoth that apply n the Land, and children who grow up speaking Hebrew, the Judaism of the Diaspora is a hollow Judaism. Just like a bagel, the outside ring is tasty, but the center is gone. That’s why Jews in the Diaspora have fallen asleep for 2000 years. Like a bagel, the Judaism of the Diaspora has all the surrounding trappings, but it is missing its heart. When you relish the bagel and don’t notice the hole, then you’re sleeping. You're pretending. You are deluding yourselves into thinking that the circumference is the whole. “If I forget thee, O Jerusalem.”  The Judaism of the Diaspora is a Bagel Judaism, or Bagelism. That was the old man’s message. 

The Forbidden Bagel

I don’t know about you, but I’m not taking any chances. To hell with the money and all the phony Kabbalah centers. I’m flying back to Israel today!