Oddballs Unlimited

When I said that I wasn’t going to call Diaspora Jews names like Couch Potatoes, Cry Babies, Bed Wetters, Squawkers, Modern Day Spies, Grasshoppers, Toy Soldiers, Monday Morning Quarterbacks, Sideline Kibbitzers, Cyberspace Jews, Internet Jews, Virtual Jews, Two-Faced Galut Lovers, and Chickens, I didn’t mean that I would no longer use catchy expressions. An oddball can live anywhere. They come in all shapes and sizes. So don’t start hollering that Fishman has started again.

For instance, only an oddball could maintain that Medinat Yisrael isn’t a Jewish State. You could say that it isn’t yet the Torah State that we all hope for, but it certainly is Jewish. Our Sages teach us that the Hebrew word for a Jewish community is “TZIBOR,” whose letters stand for Tzaddikim, Benonim, and Rashaim. A Jewish community contains righteous religious Jews (Tzaddikim,) average religious Jews (Benonim,) and wicked Jews (Rashaim.) The fact that there are Rashaim in a Jewish community does not cancel its Jewish standing. On the contrary, Rashaim are a fundamental ingredient of the community. Similarly, Rashaim are an essential part of a Jewish prayer congregation, which is not considered complete without Rashaim. We learn this from the spices that were blended together in preparing the incense for the Temple altar. If the incense did not contain the foul-smelling spice chelbenah, it was not considered fitting for the service. This is also the reason why we include the aravot (willow branches) with the four species during our lulav wavings. The aravot, which represent the Jews without Torah or good deeds, are considered a necessary part of the Jewish Nation.

So while the major candidates for Prime Minister in the upcoming Israeli elections are nothing special to write about, at least they are Jews. Thank G-d, I don’t have to vote for a gentile, like my brothers in the Diaspora. In the Jewish State, the top candidates are Jewish, and in the Diaspora, the top candidates are gentiles. (If you don’t like Bibi, you can vote for Marzal.) For that difference alone, every proud Jew should be living in Israel.

The Rambam states that the only difference between the time of galut and the days of the Mashiach is that in the days of Mashiach Jewish sovereignty will be restored over the Land of Israel (Laws of Kings and Their Wars, 12:2; also Talmud Berachot 34b).

That time is now.  So to all of my oddball friends, be patient, and come join in the process - the Jewish State is the holy, necessary, and Divinely-ordained first step toward the Torah State that will soon burst forth like a magnificent budding flower before all of our startled eyes. Not apart from Medinat Yisrael, but from within Medinat Yisrael itself.   

Blossoming out of the weeds

Fishman for Prime Minister

Now that elections are on the agenda, I am renewing my efforts to establish a new political party that will be constituted by Americans who have come on aliyah.

Fishman for Prime Minister

The Jews who came to Israel from Europe, and the Israeli generation that followed, have made a mess of things. As I have previously written, today, the country needs the idealism of the Jews who gave up the comforts of America and immigrated to Israel to help build the country. A little good old fashion “American know how” can go a long way in cleaning up the mess that the Zionists, Pseudo Zionists, and Post Zionists have made. The main points of our platform will be:

*All Arabs must leave the Land of Israel.

* Israeli sovereignty will be declared over all of Biblical Israel.

*Any Israeli politician who voted in favor of Oslo, the Hitnatkut from Gush Katif, or who promoted the Bush Road Map Plan, will be brought to trial as a national traitor.

*Relations with the United States shall be suspended until Jonathan Pollard is freed.

*All atomic facilities in Iran will be immediately destroyed.

*Anyone who propagates leftist propaganda will be deported from the country.

*The judges of the Supreme Court will be replaced by rabbis who will judge all cases according to Torah law.

*Women who dress immodestly will be fined. Repeated offenders will be imprisoned.

*No woman will serve in the army.

*Israeli television, radio, and all newspapers will be run by a board of Torah scholars, and Arutz7 will be the only authorized Internet news service.

*All computers in Israel will be equipped with anti-pornography filters.

*Teacher’s salaries will be doubled.

*The new Jerusalem Bridge will be dismantled. An 80-story high Torah scroll will be erected in its place.

*All Diaspora Jews who refuse to immigrate to Israel within two years will forfeit their right of return.

*Haredim will donate the funds to rebuild Gush Katif, and they will do all of the hard labor or face imprisonment.

*Homosexual parades, the selling of pork, prostitution, non-medical abortions, and missionizing will be outlawed.

Readers are invited to submit names for the new party and to nominate candidates for the positions of Defense Minister, Foreign Minister, Minister of Police, and Army Chief of Staff. Once a name is selected, a bank account will be opened, and donators can send their contributions directly to the account. Until party elections can be held, I will serve as acting head of the party.  

American Jews - What Are You Waiting For?

Can't you see the writing on the wall?

Our Sages ask why did Hashem begin the plagues in Egypt by striking the Nile? They explain that when Hashem decrees the destruction of a nation, He begins by destroying the nation's gods. The Egyptians worshipped the Nile, so the Nile was hit first with the devastating plague of blood.

World Trade Center z"l

In a similar light, America received a first, warning blow with the destruction of that seemingly invincible symbol of the god of capitalism, the World Trade Center. 

Let's face it, the motto, "In G-d We Trust," was just a big lie. America trusted in money. Money was the pagan god of America, and now with the Big Crash, the worship of the dollar has been debucked as just another counterfeit scam.

So dear brothers, get out while you can. But a ticket while you still can afford one. Come home to Israel before all of your dollars aren't worth any more than Kleenex. Come before your split-level houses are worthless, and the angry, poverty-stricken rednecks blame the Jews and chase you homeless into the streets. Come to the Land where "the eyes of Hashem are upon it from the beginning of the year to the end." Come to the Land where "In G-d We Trust" is real.