Fishman Apologizes

After the strident comments, both for and against my recent blogs regarding the obligation to live in Israel, I would like to apologize for not being able to answer each and every comment or question posted on this site. With morning mikvah, daily prayers, getting the kids off to school, work, errands, my writing for the blog and www.jewishsexuality.com, plus other writing, helping Mom and Dad, studying Torah as much as I
Thy bowing and kneeling in the direction of Israel is either mere appearance or thoughtless worship.
can, studying with the kids, getting them to sleep, an evening walk with my wife, Tikun Hatzot, and as much Torah learning as I can before falling off to sleep, I am, like everyone else, hard pressed for time.

I appreciate everyone’s comments, both the serious ones, and the ones that are off the wall. I simply cannot answer them all. But when there is something of a general nature, that affects the nation as a whole, I will try to answer whenever I can.

Therefore, to my soul brother, Shimshon from NYC, I will respond to some of his comments, lest they lead others astray. He writes:

“There is no obligation to live in Eretz Yisroel, or said another way, there is no obligation to LEAVE Galus (the Diaspora), because unless someone is completely clueless of reality, it is impossible to leave Galus by moving to Eretz Yisroel! Galus is still in Eretz Yisroel, and in some areas, there is more Galus in Israel than in any other places in the world.”

With all due respect to my honored brother, the fact is that Eretz Yisrael is a definite geographic place with geographical borders. This is the Jewish homeland.

This is the place where our Forefathers lived. This is the place where G-d wants the Jewish People to live, the only place where a Jew can fulfill all of the Torah, the only place where the Jewish People as a whole can establish their own sovereign nation, which is the whole goal of the Torah, to establish the Kingdom of G-d in the world, and that can only be done here in this tiny potion of the globe.

The lands outside of these geographic borders are considered the Diaspora, where we wandered in exile for nearly 2000 years. For all of those years, we had no choice but to live in foreign lands. But once Jewish sovereignty over the Land of Israel was re-established with the State of Israel, then any Jew who continued to live in the exile did so of his own choosing, preferring foreign lands over the Jewish homeland.

My dear brother, Shimshon, is implying that since there are many instances of deplorable and un-Torah-like modes of behavior in Israel today, what he calls Galus, then there is no obligation to live there. But the Torah giants of the world have already proved this untrue, as in the words of Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi, in his classic treatise of Jewish faith, “The Kuzari.” For readers who have not yet studied this cardinal work, “The Kuzari” tells the story of a gentile king who is searching to find G-d and the true way of serving Him. Set in the land of the Kuzars (in southern Russia) his path ultimately leads him to a Rabbi, who sets forth the tenets of Judaism as being the one and only true ladder to G-d. After the Rabbi extols the centrality and incomparable holiness of the Land of Israel for the Jewish People, the king rebukes him:

“If this be so, you fall short of the duty laid down in the Law, by not endeavoring to reach that place and making it your abode in life and death. And even if it had no other attribute other than the Divine Presence dwelt there for five hundred years, this is sufficient reason for men’s souls to retire there and find purification there. Is it not the gate of heaven? Thy bowing and kneeling in the direction of it is either mere appearance or thoughtless worship. Yet your first forefathers chose it as an abode in preference to their birthplaces, and lived there as strangers, rather than as citizens of their own country. This they did even at a time when the Divine Presence was not yet visible, and the country was full of unchastity, impurity, and idolatry. Your fathers however, had no other desire than to remain in it.”

The Rabbi confesses that the king’s reproach is true: “When we pray, saying, ‘Worship at His holy mountain – worship at His footstool,’ and other prayers, this is like the chattering of the starling and the nightingale. We do not mean what we say by this sentence, nor others, as you rightly observe, O king of Kuzar” (Kuzari, 2:22-24).

As to Shimshon’s assertion that, “Jews are not more safe in Israel than they are outside it,” Rabbi Yehuda HaLevi, who came on aliyah himself in a far more dangerous era, states that danger is not a factor when a person’s goal in coming to Israel is to get closer to G-d (Kuzari, 5:23). Furthermore, in the unanimous halachic ruling that the commandment to live in the Land of Israel applies in every generation, the “Pitchei T’shuva” states that since merchants regularly travel to Eretz Yisrael for business, the factor of danger is not a concern (Shulchan Aruch, Even HaEzer, Section 75, Sub-section 6). Additionally, the Ramban has taught us that the conquest and settlement of Israel is the Milchemet Mitzvah of the Torah, meaning that we are commanded to go to war to conquer the Land of Israel and to keep it in our hands, and this outweighs all considerations of danger, since one knows that in going to war, one’s life is at risk (Supplement to the Sefer HaMitzvot of the Rambam, Positive Commandment #4. Sefer HaChinuch, Precept 525. See also, “Torat Eretz Yisrael, Ch. 7). True, defending the Land of Israel is more dangerous than eating a bagel and lox in Brooklyn, but it is not for us to choose which commandments to do and which to avoid.

Finally, dear Shimshon, you write: “The whole discussion of how Jews are an endangered species outside of the State of Israel because there is a staggering intermarriage rate is presumptuous, condescending, and odious.”

Why is the discussion of the staggering rate of intermarriage presumptuous, condescending, and odious? I can’t figure this out. Is this something we should be proud of? Or is it something to brush under the table in the hope that it will go away?

Assimilation is a Holocaust. Outside of Israel, we are losing 50% of world Jewry to its lures. In some places, the rate is far more. If we don’t discuss it, how can we fight it? And to whom is it condescending? To the Jew who marries out of his faith? Should we rather tip our hats to him, or her, and say thank you? With an average of only one or two children to a Diaspora family, and the spiraling rate of intermarriage, it is a simple mathematical equation that in another generation or two, the only Jews that will be left outside of Israel will be the Orthodox. And who will protect them when the native Germans, Frenchmen, and Americans get restless? The Israeli Army is too far away.

Perhaps our readers have other answers for the problem of assimilation. I can only think of two. One is that we have to give up our lives in exile amongst the goyim, and come home to Israel, where assimilation hardly exists. And we have to do everything we can to call our brothers and sisters back to the faith by exposing our misguided brothers and sisters to the exquisite beauty, holiness, and truth of the Torah.

Soon it will be Purim. Our Sages teach that the evil decree of the wicked Haman against the Jews came as Divine retribution because the Jews of Shushan had detached their hearts from the Land of Israel and were content to wallow in a foreign place and culture, feasting themselves at the kosher orgies of the Persian king, and standing silently by as the sacred vessels of the Jerusalem Temple were desecrated.

Even after the miraculous salvation of Purim, the Jews were still loathe to give up their positions of wealth and prestige and return to Israel. As the Kuzari makes clear: “Divine Providence was ready to restore everything as it had been at first, if they had all willingly consented to return. But only a fraction was willing to do so, whilst the majority and the leaders among them remained in Babylon, preferring dependence and subservience to the gentiles, unwilling to abandon their houses and their business affairs” (Kuzari, 2:24).

Finally, years later, Hashem inspired the prophet Ezra with the mission of leading the Jews back to Israel to build the Second Temple. When he is told that the returning Jews have taken the alien women of the land for wives, he is stunned: “For they have taken the daughters of a foreign nation for themselves and for their sons, so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the peoples of those lands; indeed the hands of the (Jewish) princes and rulers have been the leaders in this crime. And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked out the hair of my head and beard, and sat down appalled” (Ezra, 9:2-3).

Immediately, Ezra issues a public proclamation, demanding that the Jews rectify this terrible wrong: “And Ezra, the Kohen, stood up and said to them, ‘You have transgressed and have taken alien women to increase the guilt of Israel. Now therefore make confession to the L-rd G-d of your fathers, and do His bidding, and separate yourselves from the peoples of the land and from the alien women. Then all of the congregation answered with a loud voice, saying, ‘As you have said, so must we do” (Ezra, 10:10-12).

Ezra did not sweep this national scandal under the carpet, and neither should we. I apologize, my friends. For many, reading this may be uncomfortable, but what can we do? This is the teaching of the Bible. Out in the alien world of cyberspace, there are surely other websites that will tell you what you want to hear. On this blog, we will endeavor to bring you the truth.

My Husband or Israel?

Dear Rivka from Chicago,

On your comment to my previous post, you write that you want to live in Israel, but that your husband does not, and you ask what should you do?

Please understand that this blog is not an “Ask The Rabbi” column. First of all, I am not a rabbi. Secondly, personal and halachic matters like your question, which deal with Jewish Law, cannot be adequately answered over the Internet. I suggest you seek the advice of an Orthodox rabbi in Chicago who understands the centrality of the Land of Israel to Judaism.
There is no question that moving to Israel is the biggest and toughest commandment, demanding a total life overhaul requiring great Emunah.


If this is not possible, you should try to contact a rabbi in Israel. Having said this, and with the understanding that I am not presuming to give you an authorized rabbinic ruling on your question, I will venture a few words of guideline.
Jewish Law states that if a wife wants to make Aliyah to live in the Land of Israel, and the husband does not, then the Jewish Court can force the husband to grant her a divorce and he must also pay her the full sum of the Ketubah marriage contract (Rambam, Laws of Marriage, 13:19; Shulch Aruch, Even HaEzer, 75::3). We can see from this ruling the supreme importance the Torah gives to Eretz Yisrael, placing the commandment to live in Israel on an even higher sanctity than marriage.

Nevertheless, divorce is not a simple matter. Our Sages tell us that the altar of the Temple sheds tears when a Jewish marriage is annulled. Therefore, you should do everything you can to preserve your marriage and also come on Aliyah with your husband. This may take a lot of love and patience, and a lot of education. It may be that he simply never learned about the vital connection between Judaism and the Land of Israel.

Because of our almost 2000 year exile among the nations of the world, we stopped learning about Israel. Even in yeshivas devoted to Torah study, the centrality of the Holy Land to the full Torah life of the Holy Nation was ignored, and we became reconciled to a shrunken Torah lacking the plethora of commandments that can only be performed in the Land of Israel.

We became reconciled with being scattered Jewish communities around the world, minorities in other people’s countries, instead of a being a united holy nation in our own Land, the cornerstone of the Torah. So it may be that your husband may change his mind after studying the Torah of Eretz Yisrael. (The IsraelNationalNews Judaism-section archives is a good place to start.)

Also, come on a trip to Israel together. Meet with Americans who have made Aliyah. Speak with rabbis. Have your husband listen to some classes at a Zionist yeshiva that has an English-speaking program, like Machon Meir in Jerusalem. If after learning about Israel, he still doesn’t want to come, it may be because other factors are pulling him away.


If a wife wants to make Aliyah and the husband does not, a Jewish Court can force the husband to grant her a divorce and pay her the full sum of the Ketubah.
There is no question that moving to Israel is the biggest and toughest commandment, demanding a total life overhaul requiring great Emunah (faith). It is not a simple matter to leave one’s birthplace, extended family, language, culture, job, etc and start all over again in a new place. He may simply be afraid, and this is perfectly understandable. But ever since our forefather, Avraham, left his birthplace and family and moved to the Land of Israel, the potential is in our genes.

In short, do everything you can to save your marriage, and give your husband a chance to understand why you feel the way you do about living in Israel. If all of your efforts fail, and he still refuses to budge in his stance, then ask a real rabbi and not a mere blog writer like me.

For articles related to the holiness of the Land of Israel and also the holiness of a marriage relationship, see my site: JewishSexuality.com

50 Ways To Leave Your Lover

Dear Shmuelik from Monsey,

Thank you for your comment on the previous post, “Fishman may be a clever writer, but the fact is that there is no Torah obligation at this time until the Mashiach comes for a Jew to live in Israel.”


"I will stay here until the Mashiach comes and survive where I am," this is nothing but an evil heart and a great loss, and a sickness of reasoning and spirit. Rambam
The Torah giant, the Rambam, has established in his “Letter of Teman” that our performance of the commandments is not dependent on the Mashiach’s coming. We are to do all of the commandments to the best of our ability, and G-d will do what is fitting in His eyes. “However, if a man will stay in a place where he sees the Torah is waning, and where the Jewish People will be lost with the passage of time, and where he can not stand by his faith, and say, ‘I will stay here until the Mashiach comes and survive where I am,’ this is nothing but an evil heart and a great loss, and a sickness of reasoning and spirit.”

In addition, the Ramban (with an N) states that the commandment to settle the Land of Israel is an obligation from the Torah, beholden on us in every generation: “In my opinion, this is a positive commandment, enjoining them that they dwell in the Land of Israel and possess it, because it was given to them, and that they should not despise the inheritance of the L-rd” (Supplement to Sefer HaMitzvot of the Rambam, Positive Commandment #4).

The Gaon of Vilna warned that the sin of the Spies in not wanting to conquer and dwell in the Land of Israel will return to haunt the nation in the time of Mashiach: “Many will fall in this great sin of, “They despised the cherished Land.” Also many guardians of the Torah will not know or understand that thy are caught in the sin of the Spies, that they have been drawn into the sin of the Spies by many false ideas and empty claims, and they support their claims with the already proven fallacy that the commandment to settle the Land of Israel no longer applies in our day, an opinion which has already been refuted by the Torah giants of the world, both the early and later authorities” (Kol HaTor, Ch.5).

Referring to this week’s Torah potion, “Mishpatim,” Rabbi Tzvi Yehuda HaKohen Kook taught an interesting lesson. “It is written that after six years, a Hebrew slave must go free. If he refuses, saying, ‘I loved my master – I won’t go out to freedom,’ this is an awful thing. Likewise, when a Jew falls in love with life in the exile, saying, ‘I loved my master, the foreign nation,’ this is a tragic mistake.”

We could bring a long list of Torah authorities who rule likewise, but a blog is not the place for a detailed elaboration of Jewish law. In all likelihood, it would not matter to our friend, Shmuelik from Monsey. He would undoubtedly answer with an assortment of convoluted explanations in order to rationalize his love for the exile.

For simple people like me, it seems pretty clear that G-d wants His people back in the Land of Israel. In our times, we have witnessed the miraculous rebirth of the Jewish Nation in Eretz Yisrael. Who has brought all this about? The Zionists or G-d? Who has gathered millions of Jews from the four corners of the world in fulfillment of Biblical prophecy? The Zionists? The Jewish Agency? Or G-d?

Even to an eye untrained in the exegesis of Jewish law, it is obvious that G-d has decided that the time has arrived to come home. To facilitate the way, He has transformed desert and wasteland into vineyards and orchards that export produce to all the world. G-d has built thriving cities and settlements, restored Jerusalem’s beauty and power, led Israeli armies to victories over vast greater forces, and rocketed the tiny country into becoming a world leader in medicine, science, and computer technology. And Eretz Yisrael is once again the Torah center of the Jewish world.

Who has done all this if not the Holy One Blessed Be He? How can anyone think that He does not want His children to return home to Israel? He has even given us a Jewish airline to bring us here in a glatt kosher fashion. With a Jewish airline, and available apartments, and a modern economy, and millions of Jews already here, how can anyone claim that the time to return has not come?

Shmuelik, my friend, wake up! Open your eyes! The L-rd is bringing the exiles back to Zion. It is happening now. G-d hasn’t waited for Mashiach to come. Why should you? As the song says, “Get on the bus, Gus. No need to discuss much. Just get yourself free.”

The Key To Happiness

Chodesh Tov!

The Hebrew month of Adar is beginning. Our Sages teach that when the month of Adar commences, we all should add an extra measure of joy to our lives. Our joy is not only because we were saved long ago in Adar from the plot of the wicked Haman to destroy all of the Jews, but also because we trust that the G-d of our Forefathers will also save us today from Jew-haters the world over, in Teheran and Baghdad, in Damascus and Cairo, in Ramallah and Aza, in Moscow and Berlin, in Paris and London, in Stockholm and Rome, in Pyongyang and Peking, in Los Angeles, Washington D.C. and New York.


I am happy that I can walk around with a long Biblical beard and a big white kippah and not have to worry about getting a beer bottle smashed over my head.
One of the major principles of Judaism is to serve G-d in happiness. A person is not supposed to perform the commandments as if they were a burden, nor out of heartless routine. The Kabbalist master, the Arizal, stated that he attained exalted levels of Divine Inspiration because he performed the commandments with transcendent joy. Needless to say, with all of the trials, pressures, and worries of daily existence, at home, at work, and at the bank, happiness is not an easy state to achieve. True joy is not running from one movie to the next, or buying something new every day, but rather by being happy with whatever life brings, in the steadfast belief that whatever G-d sends our way is for our good. This kind of faith requires hard work and lots of learning, and, for most of us, there are many pitfalls and depressions along the way.

What can we do if we fall into hard times and a cave of darkness where everything looks gloomy and lined with despair? The famed Rabbi Nachman of Breslev has some advice. “Look for a good point,” he says. After all, everyone has something good they can be happy about. Think about your one good point and let the happiness it brings lead you to another good point. Then another. Soon you will realize that things aren’t really so bad.

To take myself as an example, when things get out of hand with the kids, or when I botch things at work, or when I seem to be getting further away from G-d rather than closer, or when the bank manager calls with a warning that I had better fill up the minus before noon, I pause, remember where I am, and say, “Thank you G-d for bringing me to the Land of Israel. Thank you that this test of my nerves is happening to me here in Jerusalem, and not in Los Angeles or New York.”

Remembering this makes me immediately happy. I am happy that G-d led me to realize that Israel is the true place for a Jew. I am happy to be in my homeland, and not in someone else’s. I am happy to hear Hebrew wherever I go. I am happy that my children learn about Avraham Avinu and King David in school, and not about George Washington and the Boston Tea Party. I am happy that they will be soldiers in the Israeli Army and not have to depend on someone else’s army to defend them when the Jew haters get restless again. I am happy to be a part of the colossal historic enterprise of the return of the Jewish People to Israel, a prophecy come true, and to do my small share in the nation’s rebuilding. I am happy that when elections come around, I am voting for Jews, even though many of them may be knuckleheads. I am happy that when I have to pay a traffic fine, the policeman is Jewish and my money goes to the State of Israel. I am happy that the calendar I live by is Jewish, and that when December comes around, I don’t have to see Santa Clauses and mangers wherever I look.

Believe it or not, I am happy to be writing blogs for INN and not scripts for MGM. I am happy that I am a ten minute drive from the Kotel and not a ten hour plane ride. I am happy that I can walk around with a long Biblical beard and a big white kippah and not have to worry about getting a beer bottle smashed over my head. I am happy that I can walk down a supermarket aisle like a human being and not have to bend over and search for little OU’s like an ape.

It turns out that from one little thought, I am happy for a whole lot of things.

If you are Jew who lives in the Land of Israel, you can try this how-to-be-happy technique. If you are a Jew still living in someone else’s country, pretending to be a Frenchman in Paris, and Englishman in London, or an American in New York, if you want to be truly happy, which means being truly a Jew, I suppose you will just have to come to Israel too.

Did He Really Say S-x?

In our inaugural blog, we mentioned that we will be writing a lot about sex. Someone asked me why? He said that it wasn’t modest to discuss the subject in a public forum, and that it would only cause readers to think about it, something which the Torah forbids. This is a little like saying that one should not talk about the dangers of drugs because it may lead to drug abuse.

The saintly Kabbalist, Rabbi Eliahu Leon Levy, has been warning the public about the dangers of immodesty and sexual transgression for years. According to the Kabbalah, most of the tribulations, tragedies, sicknesses, family conflicts, and economic hardships that come upon the individual and nation all stem from sexual wrongdoing, known as blemishes to the Covenant, or Brit. Not to speak about these matters out of modesty, Rabbi Levi maintains, is like seeing a woman drowning in a river and not diving into the water to save her because it is forbidden for a man to touch a strange woman. “When you see that someone is about to fall off a cliff,” he asks, “Do you keep silent, or do you cry out in warning?”

The Torah giant, Rabbi Aharon Cutler, was also strident about the need to address these crucial matters:

“I want to awaken you to a painful and shocking matter about which many people err. There are many people whom refrain from speaking about these things under the pretext of modesty. May Heaven help us! In such a fallen and licentious generation as ours, where everything is exposed without shame in the open - to speak about holiness and modesty – this is considered an affront to modesty?! Can there be a greater deception on the part of the evil inclination than this?! On the contrary, it is an absolute obligation to speak about these matters in public!”


Today, with pornography available to everyone over the Internet, and with immodest fashions wherever you look, the need to educate people in these matters is even more imperative.
Today, with pornography available to everyone over the Internet, and with immodest fashions wherever you look, the need to educate people in these matters is even more imperative. I have spent a lot of time in yeshivas for quite a number of years, and almost no one talks about the importance of guarding the Brit, which means observing the laws of proper sexual relations with one’s wife, and with one’s wife alone, for all other sexual relationships and acts are forbidden. Sorry, guys, but that’s the way it is. Ever since G-d made an eternal Covenant with our forefather, Avraham, sexual holiness has been the foundation of the Jewish People. If a person doesn’t learn these matters, again and again, the evil inclination is very adept at convincing us that forbidden and immodest behavior isn’t so bad.

Let’s face it – the sexual urge is overwhelming in its power, and it is easy to succumb to its wiles and tricks.

Every week, people with all sorts of very serious problems come to speak with Rabbi Levy, and it turns out that in about seven out of ten cases, the root of the problem is sexual wrongdoing. In one way or another, all of us are victims of the immodest, immoral culture that reigns throughout the world. Today, in the age of the Internet, the plague of pornography has even spread to our homes. Only education can combat it. This is the reason that sexual issues will be addressed in this blog. If our warnings help even one Jew, it is, as our Sages have taught us, as if we have saved the whole world! And if, on the other hand, what we write causes a reader to think about sex in an improper fashion, chances are that it was in his head already. In the meantime, readers can visit our website: www.jewishsexuality.com for in-depth articles on this all-important issue to both the holy Nation of Israel and to the world.