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      A Soldier’s Mother
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      One mother’s journey through the Israeli army with her sons
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      Paula R. Stern is CEO and founder of WritePoint Ltd., a leading technical writing company offering documentation services and training seminars. She made aliyah in 1993 when her oldest son was 6 years old. In March 2007, her son Elie entered the Artillery Division of the Israeli army and Paula began writing about her experiences as A Soldier’s Mother. The blog continues as Elie begins Reserve Duty and her son Shmulik is now a soldier. She recently opened a publishing house, helping other authors fulfill their dream to publish.

      Links to the Author's blogs:


      Kislev 23, 5771, 11/30/2010

      Are you ready for war?


      Is that a question you ask yourself? I lived in America for the first 33 years of my life (well, less the three I lived in Israel as an infant/child) - so let's say 30 years. For thirty years, I grew, married, and birthed three children and I have to say, I never asked myself that question or even considered war coming to me.

      War was a distant reality. If it happened, it was on distant shores. Perhaps the TV brought it to my living room; perhaps the radio reminded me. But there was never fear, never action I needed to take, never concern that I would hear an explosion or see a rocket's landing site. From the age of 13, I wanted to live here in Israel and so at some point as I contemplated my future here, I must have considered what it would mean for my children.

      Certainly, by the time we were finalizing our plans, I knew that Elie and Shmulik would be soldiers one day; that other children we might have would serve as well. When the US went into Iraq during the second Gulf War in 2003, we were told to prepare for war. We were given gas masks and as I do here, I wrote during that time. (Diary of an Almost War)

      March 20, 2003:  This morning, it seems Israelis are being told to "act normally." Now, this wouldn’t be so funny if we weren’t also told to carry gas masks with us everywhere we go...including kids going to school. Anyone know how to carry a gas mask and act normal; So...my first grader is going to school with his backpack, peanut butter and jelly sandwich and a gas mask. On the bright side, I doubt the teacher will care that he’ll be late.

      And another entry strikes me because this blog has shifted to be more about Shmulik than Elie. And this next part is about Shmulik.

      March 20, 2003: Well - almost all the kids at school. My 13 year old...okay - confession - I do not understand the psyche of a 13 year old boy! So, last night he was dancing and laughing and telling the US to attack...why? Not because he’s pro-war - but because we all assumed that school would be canceled today. This morning, he refused to take his gas mask, and I told him that even though there was less than 1% chance that he’d need it, he had to take it. At that point, he started to cry. Yup, 13 years old...and scared out of his mind. So...we made a deal - I get my morning dishes done, and he stays home from school. All in all, he’s calm because he’s home. His next fear was how long it would take him to put the gas mask on, how much time would he have. I told him (not entirely truthfully), that we’d have a good 5 minutes warning. He just asked me if I wanted to time him (no, actually, I don’t)...sure, I said - well - he got his gas mask on within 1 minute. Isn’t it amazing this world we live in....At some point, after this is over, I’ll worry about the psychological scars inflicted on children who have to deal with the concept of chemical warfare (yes, he knows that the rain we are experiencing is a good thing because it would clean the air...).

      And, as my daughter just walked off for her driving lesson...do you have enough money? yes...Do you have your bus card? yes...cellular phone? yes....gas mask? yes....
      What a world....and all this without a missile ever being fired at us. For what it’s worth, I believe tonight is the defining moment for Israel. If we get through tonight without any missiles...

      In the end, all the preparation, all the fright - luckily came to nothing and Israel was not hit by SCUD missiles as in the first Gulf War. The next war was the Second Lebanon War - fought up north. The next war was the Gaza War, fought to the south west. Both wars touched us, but other than one wayward alarm, there was little real concern for personal safety (though much for national safety).

      So why this thought - today, Jerusalem is being tested to see if we are ready for war. According to Israel National News (http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/140916):

      Israel’s National Emergency Authority will be holding a special drill in Jerusalem from 8:00 a.m. until 4:00 p.m. on Tuesday, simulating different scenarios that could occur during a time of war, including missiles falling or a need to absorb mass numbers of residents from other parts of the country. Taking part will be the municipal emergency headquarters, schools, the Jerusalem police, Magen David Adom, Home Front Command, as well as government offices in the Jerusalem district. During the hours of the drill, people can expect brisk movement of emergency vehicles. As part of the drill, a siren will sound throughout the city at 10:00am, at which time all city employees and students in schools will practice safe evacuation into shelters or other protected spaces. Jerusalem’s residents will be asked to fill out a form on the city’s website on which they will indicate whether the siren was heard loud and clear in their homes.
      A siren will sound today; emergency vehicles will rush here and there. Hospitals and medical personnel will act as if it were real so that if (or perhaps when) it will be real, we will be better prepared. Children, thousands of children in all grades will be asked to stand up and leave their classes and move quietly, quickly, in an orderly fashion to the nearest bomb shelter.

      And while this is all happening, in just 30 minutes from now, deep in my heart I want to ask the simplest of questions - is anyone really ever ready for war? Doesn't the simple fact that we have to ask ourselves this question mean something?

      No, I want to answer, I am not ready for war. I wasn't ready the last time when you took my son; I won't be ready this time either. I will never be ready for war. I may know where to go, I may close off a room in my house and store extra food, flashlights, water, batteries. But no, no matter how many times you ask me to consider it, no, I will never be ready for war.


      Tags: Civil Defense Drill ,IDF soldiers ,Jerusalem ,Civil Defense Drill ,Defense/Middle East ,Inside Israel


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      Cheshvan 21, 5771, 10/29/2010

      Abraham Calls to Me


      Every once in a while (perhaps more often than I let myself believe), I take the liberty of writing not just as a soldier's mother, but as an Israeli, a Jew. I could tie this in with the blog, and I will, a bit, but for now, let's start with history.

      The thing about history is that there are often sides, shades, and personalities that we can only imagine. The longer between the event and the reporting, the harder it is to imagine, to believe, to know. Sadly, this is what is slowly happening with the Holocaust. As we move into a generation that knows no survivors, the fact that there are films, videos, direct testimonies of those who did survive, physical evidence that corresponds and confirms all that they say and said - still there are those who would twist, deny, inflame.

      Imagine now, that the history happened thousands of years ago, and not merely a few decades ago. Imagine a man who married a woman and they have a child. That child marries and has two sons. One of those sons marries not one, but two women. One of those dies young and is greatly mourned. The second is buried in the same place as the first man and his wife, the second man and his wife, and her own husband, the child of the second man.

      So far, other than there being a man who married two wives, our story is common enough that it takes little imagination. 

      But the man was named Abraham and his wife was Sarah. In the technical writing terms I often live by, Abraham revolutionized the world - perhaps the first of so many great Israeli/Jewish discoveries and innovations that have graced the world. There was no US Patent Office, but his idea was certainly unique. If you can fashion stone into a figure, calling that figure "God" is absurd.

      Abraham's patented system of global management was simple - recognize the Power...where the Power really is. When Abraham's wife died, Abraham did something else that is well documented and stands through time. He buried her, we all know that - but more. He refused the gift of her burial place. He demanded to purchase the land and so, in effect, the Bible that documents this transaction proves a legal and binding land contract in which Abraham purchased what is now called the Cave of the Patriarchs, in Hebron.

      There, he was buried. His son, Yitzchak with his wife Rifka; his grandson Yaakov, and his wife Leah. I have always felt sad that Rachel lies alone and yet her grave, its location and presence were important enough to have been separate. That Yaakov loved her was enough.

      All this was written, explained, documented, in the first book of the Torah. This week, we read Chaye Sarah - the life of Sarah...in which she dies. A contradiction, the name, with what happens. I'll let scholars and Rabbis explain more, but let me tell you that Hebron, and especially Ma'arat HaMachpela (the Cave of the Patriarchs) has always been a place that touches me, calls to me, and soothes me. 

      I’ve been there when almost no one has been there; I’ve been there when it was so crowded, you could barely move. I’ve been there in the early evening, mid-day, more than once in the morning. I’ve been there as I watched two people wed, and I’ve said prayers for the sick there.

      Each time, the feeling is the same. I’ve come home. I’ve come to the grave of my grandparents, a direct link, a connection. I have the right to pray there, to ask them to intercede on my behalf because I am theirs, they are mine.

      This Shabbat is the anniversary of Sarah’s death and so thousands, literally thousands, will go to Hebron to be there to commemorate this day, this life, this death, this start of our people, this continuance. Of all the times I have been there, this is the one time I have never been. So natural and yet each year there was a reason, a delay, something else or even nothing else.

      This time, almost 80 members of our community are going to Hebron – amazingly enough, to camp out in tents across from the Cave of the Patriarchs. What an amazing opportunity to be there, to share this moving day with so many. I can’t wait to go. I’ve got brownies cooking, carrots steamed, a noodle casserole in the oven. It will be a huge communal meal and, as usual, I already know I have gone overboard.

      It doesn’t matter – Abraham calls to me. 

      And to tie this in, Chaim called mid-week. I don’t even remember about what and I asked him about Shabbat. It’s a way of leading in to him telling me if he can/wants to come without putting any pressure on him. 

      “I’m going to Hebron for Shabbat,” he told me.

      “Me too,” I answered excitedly.

      “Yeah, but I’m staying in a tent across the street from Ma’arat Hamachpela,” he responded back. 

      “Me too,” I answered back so happy.

      In the end, Chaim had planned to sign up for the communal meal but by the time he got through, it was sold out. Chaim called to ask what we had planned in terms of food and so, he is joining our community as our “son” – Chaim and another friend.

      Elie and Shmulik aren’t into this camping out in the wilderness part of it all and are staying home; sharing one meal with their older sister, another here in our home, perhaps with friends. We have friends who went to Hebron yesterday and set up the community’s “perimeter.” We sent down extra tents; I am chilling a beer for Chaim.

      Abraham calls to me, as he often does. “Come,” he says to me, “come and give respect to your mother, to Sarah, my wife.”

      I will go and pray there – for RifkA bat Teirtzel, for Elie’s friend Re’em. I will pray for the sick of Israel…and the healthy. I will pray for my daughter and her husband that all their dreams come true; I will pray for Elie and the path he has begun since leaving the army. I will pray for Shmulik, for his safety in the army and for his future with the bride he will soon take. I will pray for Davidi, that the years and his teachers be kind to him as his path is forged and his personality developed. I will pray for my little Aliza, who every day gets bigger and bigger and just had her first “babysitting” job.

      I will pray for my husband and our life together. And in the midst of all this, I will thank Abraham and Sarah for creating the nation and the path to this day, to this land, to this place. Somewhere, the reality of what we know parts from the imagination we have. There is archeological and historical evidence for much of what occurred in the Bible. Where science stops, belief and faith continue. Beyond belief and faith, I guess, is imagination.

      I imagine a great love in Abraham for his wife, Sarah and all he built with her. It is there in his buying the Cave of the Patriarchs so that no one can ever lay claims to that land. It is, in some sense, the oldest recorded land deal, and we have the deed, right there in every Bible.

      I hear Abraham calling to me. They are waiting for me and I will go. I will sleep the night in a tent across from where they rest. To show my respect, to show my faith, to show my love. Me…and tens of thousands of their other children. We are the people of Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rifka, Jacob, Rachel and Leah.

      Shabbat shalom.



      Tags: Abraham ,Hevron ,Chaye Sarah ,Inside Israel ,Real Estate


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      Cheshvan 8, 5771, 10/16/2010

      Chaim, The Lone Soldier, Comes for Shabbat


      I couldn't resist that title - this one's for Chaim.

      The "Protectzia" worked - Chaim was able to go visit his family in the United States over the holidays. I was so happy for him; felt the same desperation that he just had to go; and such joy that he went. He called me the day he returned, and that too was a wonderful feeling. It's nice to know he loves us as much as we love him.

      After getting this break, he had to return straight to the army and so this last Shabbat was the first chance he got to come over. It was also a Shabbat where we were happy to welcome another lone soldier. I don't have permission to tell his story - I can ask, but I didn't yet, so I'll just say that his mother contacted me after reading this blog. We've been in contact a long time now...and I've heard and watched from afar.

      This was the first time he came for Shabbat and we were happy to have him. Shmulik drove into Jerusalem and picked up both guys close to Shabbat. We enjoyed meals, quiet times, talks. Perhaps I'll write about our second guest another time, for now I'll write about Chaim.

      He looks wonderful - happy, healthy, beautiful. He's a calming force when he comes to the house - somehow he has patience for everyone. This week, he gave a short Dvar Torah at both meals. A Dvar Torah is a few words of wisdom about or from the weekly portion of the Torah (first 5 books of the Bible). There are some people who speak long and others who speak profoundly in just a few words. Chaim is a master at saying something meaningful in short sentences. 

      I was tired and focused on serving food and seeing everything was on the table. I listened, loved it, and now can't remember what he said, other than remembering that I smiled after each one. I pushed him into doing the second one (he did the first one on his own). I would have let him out if he hadn't stepped up for the second one, but he did and I was glad in the end.

      This week's portion was especially meaningful at our table. It was "Lech Lecha" - the portion that speaks of God telling Abraham to leave his home and come to Canaan, the land of Israel. He spoke of blessing Abraham and giving him a great nation. See, I'm remembering what Chaim said just by writing this. 

      What was special was the Chaim tied it into almost everyone there at the table. We were the "old-timers" having been in Israel for 17 years. Two of our children were born here and know no other world. Chaim, our other lone soldier, and the family who joined us all came in the last few years. Like Abraham, we all picked ourselves up and moved to a far off land, to this land. Abraham was told that God would bless him. And, he was told that God would make his name great. 

      There was, Chaim explained, other text in between these two promises - and the break was important. It signifies the time we have in this life to fulfill God's plan, to make ourselves worthy. Not to be sacrilegious, but it reminded me of a Garth Brooks song (did I ever mention I love country music?).

      There's two dates in time
      That they'll carve on your stone
      And everyone knows what they mean
      What's more important
      Is the time that is known
      In that little dash there in between

      In some ways, this is what Chaim was talking about - it's what you do with your life that counts, more than the dates of birth or death. And this is what Chaim and our other guest, and Elie and Shmulik and Yaakov have done or are doing. They've dedicated some part of their life to doing something important - that little dash in between.
       
      So serious, I've become...so let me go back to Shabbat. Major decisions loom ahead of both of these soldiers who visited our home this weekend. Each takes a path that has already taken them so far from the ones their parents envisioned for them. And on this path, they came and graced my home. It was a wonderful Shabbat - the Shabbat of lone soldiers, Chaim dared me to write...and so I have. And yet, with all of that, it's a funny name we give to these guys - lone soldiers...and yet we don't leave them alone, don't let them be lone. 
       
      The other family who came today had asked if they could bring their lone soldier - but he had to cancel at the last minute; a neighbor wrote to me and asked how I'd gotten my lone soldier - they want one too. Abraham left his home and all that he knew...to come home to a special land that was promised to him - a land of milk and honey. Chaim has done the same in many ways and he brought me onion powder and chocolate! 
       
      (Thanks, tons - to Chaim's mother - and to J.'s mother - my sisters in this soldiers' mother business, for sharing your amazing guys with me.)



      Tags: Lone soldiers ,Shabbat ,Abraham ,Inside Israel ,Jewish World


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      Tishrei 20, 5771, 9/28/2010

      Jumbled News and A Clear Message of Triumph


      Sometimes, the news jumbles together and you wonder how it is possible not to learn a lesson from the very clear path it builds for you. There is a truth, even in the lies our enemies tell. A truth so bitter, so real, that our leaders refuse to listen, even if it means our deaths.

      As I drove to work recently, I listened as the news reported that Abbas was telling Israel that we had to choose between peace and settlements. It is a formula that might make sense, if it was the settlements that prevented peace. It is a lie that might fool the most ignorant but for those who understand that we have not built for 10 months while Abbas made no effort to make peace, it is yet another abomination. We have done so much; Abbas has done nothing but avoid negotiations, set preconditions, and spin truths into the most horrid of lies. 

      For 10 months, we caved into Obama; to the US, the UN, the EU, and worst of all, our own desperation to believe that peace can be shoved down the throats of the Palestinians despite their very clear message that they worship death and violence, not peace and harmony. For 10 months, Netanyahu wanted us to believe the impossible – that you can dance alone to a tune only he hears; that you can convince those who seek to confuse, that honesty is the better road. For 10 months. For 10 months there was nothing. Nothing but rockets, stone throwing attacks. Nothing but accusations, preconditions, demands.

      So, having done nothing but wait until the last possible minute to even agree to talk to Israel, the Palestinians are now positioning themselves to say that it is Israel that has not done enough, not cared enough, not sacrificed enough. It’s true, they laugh to themselves, for 10 months nothing…and for how much longer can we watch Israel dance while we laugh on the side? I have no sympathy for the Americans who come to the party so disastrously ignorant. I have no compassion for the Blairs of the world who cannot comprehend a world, a culture that raises its children to martyrdom. We are finished, I want to scream at Abbas. Your lies won’t work. But they do, and I am left to wonder, again and againt.

      Obama – for God’s sake…how stupid can you be? How can you look at our country and believe we have not done all we can. Now in these last 10 months? Five years ago when we destroyed the homes of 10,000 people for nothing? You want us to give more? Tell that to the orphans, the widows, the bereaved parents. 

      Abbas says Israelis much choose. The anger encompasses the brain at times, chokes you beyond words.

      That was the morning. In the afternoon, there was a conversation with an Israeli aboard a boat heading to Gaza – a flotilla with a message; he said. And what, the newscaster asked, what was the message? My mind flashed, as it often does, to Gilad Shalit – it makes sense – they are trying to grab the attention of the world to focus on Gilad. They sail to gain the attention of the world, to turn it to the cause of the naval blockade – the ongoing, illegal captivity or our son, Gilad.

      I was so busy hoping they would succeed, it took me a few moments to realize the treachery, the deceit, the horror. No. Not Gilad – not for these publicity-hungry, self-hating Jews who dared to talk of “true Judaism” as they desecrated Jewish law, ignored it, debased it. They want to show their solidarity, these stupid idiots, with the beleaguered Palestinians; they want to break the naval blockade and declare themselves heroes. They dare Israel to stop them – in the name of Judaism because those who sailed in the name of Islam already failed. But there is no difference between the Judaism of these people and the Islam that pushed the last flotilla to violence. I would not trust these self-proclaimed “peace activists” any more than I trust the last group of thugs. 

      They sail for the Palestinians, but not for Gilad. The anger grows as an ache deep inside; how blind, how naïve, how destructive, how wrong.

      And then in the evening, I got a call from my son who was with the army in Hebron hours before. He is fine. He’s left the city, though he may go back. Slowly the mind takes in the information. Another shooting attack; indiscriminate; meant to kill. Another pregnant woman – but this time a miracle. Though the woman was shot, her husband was able to continue driving until he got her to help; she delivered her son in health and safety – a miracle.

      What lessons do we learn this day of such jumbled news?  So many confused thoughts; so much anger. The journey of the day took me through the feeling that the world will fall, yet again, for Abbas’ lies and Palestinian propaganda and past the idiocy of those who are blind enough to help our enemies but care nothing for our own. It ended with the wails of a newborn baby boy, born of a terrorist attack that might easily have claimed his life and those of his parents. But a birth, a joy, a message that comes clear and washes away the anger. Tell your lies, follow the wrong path, but know that at the end of the day, there is a rebirth, a dedication.

      I don’t know what the parents will name this child – perhaps Baruch, for blessing – for truly he is blessed. Perhaps David, who led his people in strength and war. Or Chaim, for he lives to triumph and show the world the determination of his parents and his people.

      Or perhaps, though it is not my place to name him – perhaps they will call him Israel. I hope they will – for it was Israel that rejoiced in his birth last night as we put aside the anger and the lies to celebrate the most important part of our religion – life.

      May God bless this baby boy, son of Netta Zucker. May he be welcomed into the covenant of Avraham, Isaac, and Jacob and may he be granted a long and happy and healthy life here in our land…the land that will remain ours, despite Abbas, Obama, the idiots on the flotillas, past, present and future. 

      May God bless this boy with life.


      Tags: terrorism ,Inside Israel ,Politics & Gov


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      Tammuz 22, 5770, 7/4/2010

      Abbas and the Kotel - A Study in Nerve Factor



      Several Israeli Internet sites are reporting that Palestinian Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas has stated that in a final agreement, Israel can keep the Western Wall, the Kotel, located in the Old City of Jerusalem. Suddenly, it seems, Abbas believes he can determine what remains in our hands and in his mind, he has generously offered Israel...what we already own, unquestionably, without doubt, through history, through right, through might.

      To put this in terms better understood by others - this is the same as offering the French a deed to the Eiffel Tower, telling President Obama he may keep the White House. Abbas may as well tell the Russians that Red Square can remain in Moscow and telling the British that through his generosity, Queen Elizabeth may continue to reside in Buckingham Palace.

      If I have not yet shown the absurdity of Abbas' words, I can come up with hundreds more...just look at any country and promise them...what they already own.

      The Western Wall was the western retaining wall of the Holy Temples. It has stood more than 2,000 years and will stand longer than Mahmoud Abbas. It was built by the Jewish leaders of their day, to serve the needs of the Jewish people as they worshiped God in their land. If Abbas were to offer to return the Temple Mount - the land upon which our Temples once stood, where today there sits two mosques - that would be a real offer. Not because he has a legitimate claim to that land, but because we were stupid enough to hand it back over to their control in 1967 and since that time, our access to that holiest of places has been restricted, limited, and often denied by successive Israeli governments who fear upsetting the Arabs.

      From 1948 - 1967, to the deafening silence of most of the world, Jews were denied complete access, while since 1967, Arabs have had almost free access while it has been under the security control of Israel. They have enjoyed complete religious freedom up there on our Temple Mount, even to the point that Jews are not allowed today to pray - even silently to themselves, if they dare move their lips in silent concentration.

      As for Abbas' less than generous offer - it should be treated with the ridicule and absurdity it deserves. He has no legal, moral, physical, or logical right to offer President Obama sovereignty of the White House...and that has stood less than 200 years. How much less is his right to offer the Jewish people what has stood on our land and in our hearts for 2,000 years.

      Tags: Kotel ,Western Wall ,Mahmoud Abbas ,Mahmoud Abbas ,Barack Obama ,Temple Mount ,Inside Israel ,Jewish World


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