Hearts and Rockets

The phone beeped, signaling an incoming message as I got into my car tonight. No time to stop and read it. My oldest daughter was waiting for me to pick her up; my youngest daughter wanted to see me before she goes to sleep. I like hearing news. I'm a news-aholic, but it isn't polite and I haven't seen my daughter in a few days so I left the radio off and we talked.

When I dropped her and her husband off near their apartment, I turned on the radio as I drove the short distance home. I can't remember the words I heard, but the message was clear. They were examining the location of an incoming rocket that had been launched against Israel from Lebanon. They debated who shot the rocket and agreed that nothing could be fired without Hezbollah's approval.

Why now? Clinton is on her way here; things with Iran may be getting more involved. Maybe they are jealous, thinking Gaza is getting all the attention. I don't know the reason why someone in Lebanon thought he had a right to fire a rocket at our civilians.

What we know - the rocket hit northern Israel causing a factory, but luckily, no injuries. A short time ago, a second explosion was sounded. It could be nerves; it could be real. Nothing has been confirmed yet.

What I know - is that Elie is in the north, far from where the rocket hit, but still there. When he was in the center of the country and Hamas fired more than 120 rockets at Israel in November of 2008, I knew that if it continued, we would go to war. I spoke to Elie and understood that based on where he was located, if war came, he would go. And he did.

He was home this weekend and once again I found myself asking him the same questions. It's a need to understand, to prepare for the worst.

"If there's another war in Gaza, will they call you?" I asked him.

"No," he said. Another unit would go. Elie's been told that he will be a commander for a short pre-commander's course in a few weeks. He will be involved in training the commanders who train the commanders (got that?). Once these officers are ready, Elie will go back up north to rejoin his unit and those soldiers will welcome a new group and begin training them.

"If there's war in Lebanon, would they call you?" I asked him.

"Yes," he said. As soon as the Syrian front was secure, he and his unit would likely be moved to handle Hezbollah and Lebanon. There is no comfort there, so I ask my next question.

"But you don't think anything is going to happen, right?" When did I become the one seeking comfort and my son the one to offer it? When did he become the one with the knowledge and I the one seeking it?

"No," Elie answered. "Hezbollah isn't going to fight in the winter. They don't stand a chance."

These are the words of youth. It's been quiet for over an hour. I've gotten two messages from a friend - nothing to do with Elie or the north. Both times, I went quickly to my phone. In my head, I have no doubt that Elie is correct. Hezbollah is not looking for a war - not yet, not now.

It is clear to Hamas and Hezbollah that the world will allow them to shoot a certain number of rockets at Israel, provided they don't kill too many people. This rocket caused a fire, scared tens of thousands of people in the north, and caused a blip on my roller coaster scale. It's a small up and down, nothing too earthshattering. All acceptable according to the world's tolerance scale...when it happens to Israel. France wouldn't allow someone to shoot a rocket within its territory, neither would Russia or the US. Only Israel will allow it; only Israel will accept it.

My heart is settling back in place. People in the north are shutting down, sleeping in their beds tonight because they know in their heads that sleeping in a bomb shelter is not necessary, not really, and they don't want to over-react. It was just one missile - and it missed, as it most often does.

Just one rocket shot at hundreds of thousands of people - and it missed. Elie is hopefully asleep or going to sleep soon. I'll give him a call to see how he's doing. Maybe I'll mention the rocket, maybe I won't.

I won't tell him that once again the thought of his being in war filled my mind with dread and made me remember what it was like less than a year ago.

Maybe I'll tell him about the kind note I received on Twitter from @FreeMountaineer who wrote, "You stay safe over there & give your boy my best. Here's one Christian who wishes he could join the IDF."

But most of all, I won't tell him that there is a world out there that doesn't care that one missile hit Israel tonight, that much of the media won't even bother covering it because with the help of God, no one was hurt. I won't tell him that after the rocket slammed into our country, my heart slammed into throat and I felt sad and depressed and worried.

I will tell him that I love him. I will tell him that I'm fine. My heart is back in place, my smile firmly planted. My stomach has settled, my nerves quieted.

For a moment, the briefest of seconds, I forgot the simple truth of Israel. It was only a second - less than a second on the scale of things so I will share with you our greatest truth and our least kept secret: the beauty of this country lies in its sons, its people - its resiliency.

Tomorrow, our sons will guard our borders, our people will rise and go to work and school, as they did today and as they will the day after tomorrow too. That is our message to Hezbollah. Your rockets may stop us for a moment. We are, after all, only human. But that moment has passed. You accomplished nothing, even less than nothing. You missed - as you usually do - and we returned fire immediately. Our soldiers, Elie's friends in artillery responded to your rocket without hesitation.

Tonight, Israel is defiant. Resilient - proud of who we are and where we stand.

Am Yisrael Chai - the people of Israel lives and in that is our victory over rockets.

A Day of Twittering

Twitter is an interesting program. It can pull the life out of you, wasting hours and hours of a day...but it can also be a way to reach thousands of people...in short, quick bursts. The idea is that you have 140 characters to explain, to communicate, to rail against, to praise.

On some days, all I want to say...I say in a measuring of 140 characters. Today was a day like that. So, here's my twitter posts for the day - sort of wraps up the day in small bites:

• God...how STUPID is this? / 3 Palestinians arrested Sun evening after throwing a dummy explosive at Israeli troops at Huwara checkpoint
• Relative calm? I think not: 95 terror attacks carried out in Sept, up from 53 in Aug. Gaza terrorists fired 17 rockets, up from 2 in Aug.
• An Israeli army unit discovered an improvised explosive device among the belongings of another Arab boy. // safely detonated, boy detained
• An Israeli army unit discovered a 9 cm (3.5") knife among belongings of Arab youth Sunday at the Huwara checkpoint, S of Shechem.
• Arabs also threw rocks at Israeli vehicles between Jiba and Tzurif, southwest of Jerusalem
• Arabs also threw rocks at Israeli vehicles on the Zaatra bypass of the new Jerusalem-Tekoa highway
• Arabs also threw rocks at Israeli vehicles next to the Little Yakir Junction between Tel Aviv and Shechem
• An Israeli vehicle was damaged Sunday evening by rocks thrown by Arabs next to Deir Astia, southeast of Kalkilye.
• Boaz Shabo's wife & 3 kids were murdered by Arab terrorists in 2002 - most shot in the back #cowards. In 2004, he went 2 visit David Hatuel.
• David Hatual's wife Tali & all 4 of his children were murdered in cold blood, point blank range, by Arab terrorists; Boaz Shabo went to him.
• How am I supposed to get up in the morning?" David Hatuel asked Boaz.
• Boaz Shabo answered David Hatuel: "You get up to nothing... But your obligation is to recover and get stronger..."
• In 2007, Boaz Shabo, whose wife and three of his children were murdered, went to Sderot to volunteer, to comfort families w/i missile range
• Today, Boaz Shabo became a father again - to three baby boys. If there is a model of hope - it is Boaz Shabo...not Barack Obama!

Weighing Truths for Gilad

When you are young, there is often one great truth to all things. It doesn't matter what the situation is, it's just a way you have of looking at something and deciding what is right or wrong in that simple moment. It is a singular truth that seems obvious and clear. As you get older and your life gets more complicated, shades of other truths blur the picture. There is no longer one side, one truth. Every action has a reaction; every cause not just one result but often many.

There's a scene in Fiddler on the Roof where someone says something to the main character, Tevye. Tevye confirms that the man is correct. Another man comes forward and voices an opposing position. "You are right," Tevye tells him.

Another steps forward and says, "but they can't both be right."

To which, Tevye responds, "and you are right too."

I felt that way in the last few days listening to the debate about the release of 20 security prisoners in exchange for a two minute video of Gilad Shalit this past Friday. There are so many sides, so many truths that perhaps the greatest relief comes from not being in a position to have to choose that path.

His mother has suffered so long, his father traveled so many miles begging people to listen and help free their son. Don't they deserve, don't they need this reassurance that their son is alive. This is truth.

Although 14 of these security prisoners were wanted for attempted murder, all would have been released in the coming months...certainly within the next year or so. Israel is a land that follows the rule of law. Unlike Hamas, we do not hold prisoners without trial and with trial comes a just sentence. The sentence is served and remorseful or not, the prisoner is released, often to return. This is the strength and the weakness of a democracy and so these prisoners, once freed, may well choose to attempt to murder another Israeli. This is truth as well.

The cost of this exchange boggles the mind. The value, as set by Hamas is staggering. A video of an Israeli is equal to 20 prisoners; the value of his life set at a minimum of 450 Palestinian prisoners - murderers, terrorists, killers. Twenty prisoners for one video. As one blogger wrote, "guppies cost more." This too is truth.

After so many months of silence, Israel needed a sign that we were negotiating for a live human being. We've given hundreds of prisoners for coffins; this time, it was right to get proof before any agreement and dealing with Hamas is not the same as dealing with human beings who respect life. This organization and the people who belong to it feel nothing about endangering their own people. They fight from within their own schools, mosques and hospitals.

How could we expect them to do what is legal, what is just, what is moral, what is human? They relish the suffering of others; they crave it. This is a culture that worships death and cares nothing for the suffering of an Israeli mother or her family. If this is what holds Gilad and we want proof that he is alive, this is the cost. And here too, there is truth.

"We aren't like them," said a friend. "We couldn't stand by and not do something to alleviate the terrible pain of the family." More truth.

Trade for Gilad? Accept a video in exchange for 20 prisoners - 14 wannabe killers? "What do you think of this?" I asked Elie.

"They've endangered us all," he said without hesitation. What joy I felt at hearing that we'd received the videotape and it showed a healthy, if thin, Gilad, evaporated with those words. This is a truth every Israeli mother knows and doesn't want to hear. Yes, when you reward terrorism, you get more terrorism. It is, perhaps, the greatest of all truths.

"Already Hamas has said they are going to try to kidnap more soldiers," Elie continued. More truth, more shades to consider.

He's right on so many levels and wrong on others. Or, perhaps wrong is not correct. He has yet to marry and have a child, yet to understand the awe, the love, the responsibility that comes with that.

Gilad Shalit is alive. This Hamas has proven. This young man has spent the last three years of his life a prisoner of our enemies, separated from his family, denied all contact. Night after night his mother goes to sleep not knowing where he is, if she will ever see him again. It is enough to weaken any mother's heart.

But Elie doesn't have a mother's heart. He has a soldier's heart. He loves his country, he loves his family. He's right - this endangers them all. In Elie's world, right is right; weakness damages our position. He has rules that he lives by, just and legal. There is a sense of morality, but more, there are rules of engagement. Hamas continues to violate international law, refuses to even allow Gilad to be seen by international representatives.

If he were my son...but I can't begin that thought because the pain is too great, the fear, the worry. Is there anything I wouldn't give for my children? Anything I wouldn't do? This is why it isn't correct for Gilad's parents to determine policy in this case, why mothers shouldn't be asked. We love our sons, desperately want Gilad home. This is their truth, our truth, a mother's truth.

But there is a greater truth that Hamas lives by and that truth is cheering now because they know that for a video we will release 20 prisoners, for Gilad we will release killers...who will kill again.

How many people have been murdered by the same terrorists we released in exchange for past captives? Did their families love them any less than Gilad's family loves him? This is the dilemma. Gilad on one side, a healthy, prisoner, begging us to do what we can to finally bring him home...and untold numbers of others on the other side, including Elie, telling us that what deal we make, if the price is high, will only encourage them to try to kidnap more soldiers. This is truth.

What the government has done endangers them all, while what we don't do, endangers Gilad. Sometimes, everyone is right and no one wins. The weight of that truth keeps me awake at night as I watch the video of Gilad over and over again and pray that in this bargain we made with the devil, at least his mother will find some comfort.