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15 Tevet 5768, 12/24/2007

Inanity, Insanity and a Portent of Calamity - Part II

by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz

According to the latest lunacy out of academia, Jewish soldiers don't rape Arab women because we are racists and see them as sub-humans. 

Yeah. And if we truly respected the Arabs' common humanity, then we would treat them like their brothers do - like the Lebanese army indiscriminately bombed Nahr Al-Bard to
If we truly respected the Arabs' common humanity, then we would treat them like their brothers do.
crush a terrorist group headquartered there or like the Syrian army turned Hama into a parking lot to kill Islamists using the town as a base camp, for example.

And our supply of electricity and basic necessities to Hamas-controlled Gaza is utterly inhumane! My Lord, what have we been thinking? Clearly our not cutting off power and supplies to the Arab territory is an indication that we see them as subhumans.

And our persistent attempts to make peace with them just show our complete disrespect for them and their traditions. We persist, in our superiority complex, in pointedly ignoring Arab desires, wishes and aspirations to destroy Jewish sovereignty of any kind, to see all Jews in Israel dead, subjugated or in flight, to achieve death in a bombing or shooting attack, and their traditional beliefs that Jews are descended from pigs and monkeys.

We, in a display of typical Jewish arrogance, deny them their “narrative,” which ends with a massacre of the Jews in Israel.

What do you mean, “That's different?”

And in other news......

Released Terrorists, With No Blood on Their Hands, Kill 37 People
Two terrorists who murdered 37 people last week in a double suicide bombing attack had been released from prison in a good will amnesty some time ago. Neither of the two men fell under the category of prisoners "with blood on their hands."

Could the two men described above be from the Palestinian Authority? Could their victims be Israelis?

Definitely.

However, that particular news item about "no-blood-on-their-hands" terrorists who went on to accumulate buckets of blood on their hands comes from Algeria. One of the jihadists was a 64-year-old man who had terminal cancer. His only crime until December 11, 2007 - for which he was imprisoned - was being a member of the Muslim fundamentalist Islamic Salvation Front. His younger accomplice, 32 years old, had been arrested on the charge of "supporting terrorist groups."

It has been clearly demonstrated that the overwhelming majority of terrorists released from Israeli jails also return to murderousness. 177 Israelis were killed, and many others wounded, as a result of "good will" releases between 1993-1999 alone.

In a completely unrelated item, Defense Minister Ehud Barak is to meet with Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in the Sinai this week. The meeting is supposedly part of negotiations with Hamas over their release of IDF Cpl. Gilad Shalit in exchange for dozens of Arab terrorists imprisoned in Israeli jails.



14 Tevet 5768, 12/23/2007

Olmert as the Cosby Noah

by Steven Plaut


"Right!" - except Ehud is now Left
Oldtimers will recall the Bill Cosby shtick from the 60s based on Noah. I was reminded of it when Ehud Olmert announced recently that he would be spending taxpayer funds to build himself a nice little personal shelter to protect him from Iranian nukes. When the rest of us are cooked, thanks in part to his idiotic policies, he will be able to sit in his little nukefree bunker-ark and contemplate the meaning of life. Like the character invented in the 60s by Bill Cosby.
 
Here are the lyrics to the Cosby shtick, with some minor alterations:
 
 
There's a fella by the name of Ehud
In his bunker ark
Everybody knows he built a bunker ark.
You see,
But very few people know about
the conversation that went on between the Lord and Ehud,
You see, Ehud was in his rec. room
Sawing away, he was making a few things for the home there.
He was a good carpenter!

Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa, whoompa
Ehud!

Somebody call?
Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa

Ehud!

Who is that?
It's the Lord, Ehud

Right!

Where are ya?
What you want? I've been good.
I want you to build yourself a bunker, using Israeli taxpayer funds.

I want you to build yourself a bunker-ark, using Israeli taxpayer funds.

Right!
What's a bunker?

Get some wood build it
300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits
Right!
Whats a cubit?

Lets see a cubit...I used to know what a cubit was.
Well, don't worry about that, Ehud
When you get that done
Go out into the world and
Collect all of the payoffs from Kadima oligarchs twos by twos,
Male and female, and put them into the bunker.

Right!
Who is this really?
What's going on?
How come you want me to do all these weird things?

Iran's going to destroy the world
Right!
Am I on Candid Camera?

How they gonna do it?
They gonna build nukes right under everyone's nose and the US intelligence people gonna say they buildin' taffy machines.
Right!

Right!


11 Tevet 5768, 12/20/2007

Inanity, Insanity and a Portent of Calamity

by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz

This week saw at least three events that stood out for their level of inanity, insanity and portending calamity.

Vatican City Must Abandon Its Christian Character
The first item that caught my eye this week - and knocked me off my chair for its sheer ridiculousness - was the statement by Roman Catholic Archbishop Michel Sabbah on Wednesday that a state defined as Jewish is unacceptable and should be reformed.

Leaving aside the fact that Sabbah never critiqued the self-defined Arab and Islamic
Green is the color of Islamic conquest and supremacy.
states in this region for a moment, isn't Archbishop Sabbah an official representative of the sovereign state called "Vatican City," last remaining link to the defunct "Holy Roman Empire"?

I could be wrong, but I seem to recall that Vatican City does have some sort of official state religion. No?

Juden, Raus!
The next item that I can't resist commenting on I refer to as "insanity," but on a more serious level, it actually amounts to a disgrace.

It seems that Knesset Member Yoram Marciano (Labor) is in favor of another Disengagement. This time in Lod, the city adjacent to Ben-Gurion International Airport and well within the 1948 armistice lines (a.k.a., the Green Line). Yes, you read that right - Marciano has publicly advocated expelling the Jews of Lod. Why? Well, because they are live in fear and find themselves under constant anti-Semitic attack by some of their Arab neighbors. Naturally. Isn't that the general national policy now, anyway?

It is eminently clear that someone who thinks that the proper response to anti-Semitic violence is that Jews be expelled from their homes cannot possibly be a Zionist or a
We of the enlightened Left only ever propose expelling Jews.
Jewish patriot. Given that, I will point out an observation that should concern Marciano strictly as a non-sectarian Israeli leader.

Experience shows that expelling the victims does not end the violence perpetrated by thugs; it merely forces them to change targets. When the Christian Arabs in Lod come under attack, will Marciano propose "disengaging" them? And after that, when Sunnis turn on Shiites, will the Shiites have to go?

Allow me to assume that Marciano would answer my rhetorical questions thus: "Of course not! Don't be racist! We of the enlightened Left only ever propose expelling Jews."

Green. Peace.
The final bit of craziness for the week is the news that the walls of the Old City of Jerusalem are to be illuminated with green lights tonight. City Hall, under Mayor Uri Lupolianski, claims that the color was selected as a sign of Jerusalem's commitment to the environment, in conjunction with Greenpeace and the Society for the Protection of Nature in Israel.

I am not in principle opposed to such gestures in honor of the environment, but I wonder if it escaped the notice of the Jerusalem honchos that green is the color of Islamic conquest and supremacy. Well, timing is everything.

You see, these are also the days of the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Adha and the season of the Muslim Haj pilgrimage.

Either the event planners at City Hall are abysmally ignorant of the holidays of their Muslim neighbors, and this is a coincidence, or they are well aware of the significance to Muslims of lighting up Jerusalem in green on their holiday - and that is precisely why they did it. If it is the former explanation, then I am shocked at the utter stupidity; if the latter, and City Hall simply wants to deceive non-Muslims as to the purpose of the green lights, then those lights portend far worse things to come.



5 Tevet 5768, 12/14/2007

Satire: Israel Launches New Defense Plan For Sderot

by Baruch Gordon

Following the Israeli security cabinet's decision to refrain from a full-scale military retaliation against rocket attacks from Gaza, state leaders have announced a national defense policy aimed at increasing protection for the shell-shocked Israeli town of Sderot.

At a press conference held at a fitness gym, Prime Minister Ehud Olmert and Defense Minister Ehud Barak named the new defense strategy: "Run, Jew, Run!"

Defense Minister Ehud Barak, sporting a Reebok sweat suit, explained, "In our times, a Jew who is not physically fit puts his life in danger, so we are allocating 4 million shekels from the defense budget to open fitness gyms throughout the Sderot region. Each street in Sderot will be assigned a personal trainer to get 'em all in good shape so they can run faster from the Arab Kassams."

Before continuing, the two State leaders screened the following realtime implementation of the "Run, Jew, Run" plan.

Prime Minister Olmert explained that sending troops into Gaza is not an option because "some of them may get hurt and killed."

CNN's Ted CommonSense asked, "Then why does the State of Israel invest resources into training soldiers if the executive branch is afraid to use the army?" Olmert replied that IDF training gets soldiers in top physical form so they too can participate in the new Run Jew Run National Defense Policy.

CommonSense pressed further, "But ten civilians have been killed from Arab Kassams and mortar shells…" Olmert cut off CommonSense and said. "If we send the army into Gaza, then not just ten, but rather tens of soldiers will get killed. It's simply not worth it."

CommonSense retorted: "But what if 100 civilians get killed from improved rockets?"

All eyes shifted to the Prime Minister. There was silence in the room. Had the policy makers taken such a scenario into account? Suddenly, a look of confidence came over Olmert's face as he declared, "Will going into Gaza bring these 100 people back to life? It will only get more soldiers killed! It's not in our interest."

One of the founders of the Four Mothers Movement in the audience stood up and shouted, "Olmert is right. If a Prime Minister cynically uses an army to protect the country's civilians, it will only get soldiers killed. Mr. Olmert is protecting our soldiers.
Defense Minister Barak thanked the Four Mothers Founder for her words and noted that it was the foresight of the Four Mothers that led his own administration in the year 2000 to pull Israeli troops out of Lebanon and abandon the region to Hizbullah terrorists.

.The Press Conference proceeded with a demonstration of the new defense program. First, Defense Minister Barak noted that the Sderot early warning system gives 15-seconds advance notice of rocket impact. Barak then darted into an impressive sprint around the conference hall to prove the operational mechanism of the new plan.

Barak's coach held up the stopwatch for all to see and declared: "14 seconds and 56 hundredths of a second!"

Bowing his head and lowering his voice, Prime Minister Olmert recalled how Jews ran from their pursuers for generations. "This is our national heritage," explained Olmert. "Our forefathers ran from Egyptian taskmasters, and from Babylonian, Greek, and Roman soldiers. In later years, we ran from pogroms and inquisitions.  Why break this glorious tradition now?"

Health Minister Yaakov Ben-Yizri (Pensioners Party) estimated that the monies saved to the health system by strengthening the physical fitness of the population would cover the proposed purchase of Harley Davidson motorcycles for the elderly who cannot make the 15-second dash to safety.

CNN's CommonSense:  "But some civilians don't have the faculties required to speed on a motorcycle to safety. What about them?"

Prime Minister Olmert exchanged whispers with the Health Minister, punched a few numbers into a calculator, and then replied: "According to our calculations, the 'Run, Jew, Run' plan provides a solution for 98% of Israelis. Just as my predecessor Yitzchak Rabin said, 'it's a calculated risk.' If some old or handicapped Sephardim in Sderot get hurt, this is the price we have to pay."

A long-bearded Sderot resident (formerly of Gush Katif) was granted the last question. "Why not start by intensive bombing on Gaza from the air? This would reduce the risk to our soldiers who would follow with a ground offensive to halt the Kassams altogether."

Olmert: "Are you suggesting that we bombard kindergartens in Gaza?"

Sderot resident: "Mr. Prime Minister. We are fighting terrorists. Civilians will be killed in this struggle. It's either their kindergartens or ours. Which do you choose?"

Olmert: "I choose yours." An aide whispered into Olmert's ear and the Prime Minister quickly clarified, "I mean ours. I choose our nurseries and kindergartens. And besides, let's say we conquer Gaza. What do we do after the war?

Sderot resident: "We should stay there. Remember how few terror attacks there were before the 1995 Israeli pullout from Gaza under the Oslo agreements? The concessions of the Peace Process are precisely what brought about an escalation in attacks. In the Gaza region, we can rebuild the flowering Jewish towns and restore what was literally Israel's most advanced agriculture enterprise."

At that point, a Yassam Police Unit apprehended and beat the Sderot resident and brought him to the Serious Crimes Unit in the Petach Tikvah Police station. The Prime Minister announced that the suspect would be investigated for "incitement to genocide" and proclaimed that Israeli democracy would always provide a platform for the free expression of all opinions "provided that they are within reason."

Prime Minister Olmert concluded saying that if the "Run, Jew, Run" Defense Plan proves itself in the case of the Sderot region, it would be extended to Greater Tel Aviv just in time for the government's proposed withdrawal from Judea and Samaria.



24 Kislev 5768, 12/4/2007

Ze'evi Murderer in Jail - What about his Protectors?

by Steven Plaut


"It is my opinion that Neve Gordon has gotten into bed with neo-Nazis, Holocaust justice deniers, and anti-Semites." -- Dershowitz
At long last the Palestinian assassin of an Israeli cabinet minister Rehavam Ze'evi has been formally sentenced.  Haaretz reports: "Hamdi Qur'an was convicted of the 2001 murder and other terror activities. He was taken into Israeli custody in 2006, after international monitors left the Jericho Prison, where he had been held."

But there is more justice that needs to be done.  What about the "solidarity protesters" who served as human shield for Hamdi Qur'an when he was being hidden inside the Palestinian Authority offices in Ramallah by Yassir Arafat? Back when the IDF was attempting to apprehend the murderer?

Just to remind you, groups of anti-Israel "solidarity protesters" illegally entered Ramallah in violation of Israeli law and army regulations in order to prevent IDF forces from apprehending terrorists being hidden at the time by the PLO in violation of its Oslo obligations.  Among the terrorists being so protected was Hamdi Qur'an..  The "human shields" protecting him included some Israeli far-leftists. 

Among those who illegally interfered with Israel's efforts to apprehend Qur'an was Neve Gordon, a radically anti-Israel far-leftist lecturer in political science at Ben Gurion University.  Gordon may be best known for having his anti-Israel articles published on the Neo-Nazi web site of Ernst Zundel, for his campaign of defamation against his own army commander, and for his recent shilling on behalf of Neo-Nazi Norman Finkelstein.  Gordon joined anti-Semites and jihadniks in a conference supporting Finkelstein, where he proliferated anti-Semitic misrepresentation of the "Zionist Lobby" as an anti-democratic bogeyman.

To right - Gordon as human shield for Qur'an:    Neve Gordon (Ben Gurion University)defends terrorists with Arafat at the peak of the second intifada 03.02.02. Taken by channel 2 news

Gordon was arrested for his illegal interference with IDf anti-terror operations.  Prof. Alan Dershowitz last year described Gordon thus: "It is my opinion that Neve Gordon has gotten into bed with neo-Nazis, Holocaust justice deniers, and anti-Semites. He is a despicable example of a self-hating Jew and a self-hating Israeli."  Officials at Ben Gurion University have long backed Gordon's anti-Israel and Solidarity-with-Terrorists activism.

We are wondering - is there room in Qur'an's cell for those who illegally served as his human shield? 


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