The Peres Presidential Waltz

by Steven Plaut

<<< Barghouti, Celebrating with Shimon

Well, it is now official. Shimon Peres, the godfather of the Oslo appeasements and "peace process", is the new President of Israel. Summing up the Presidential election in Israel: What Moshe Katsav is accused of doing forcibly to several young women, the NEW president of Israel did to the entire country!

For those who dismiss this as a harmless empty gesture to the old geezer, think again.

The President of Israel is mainly an honorary post, like a member of the House of Lords. But Peres will not be out hunting foxes in tweeds. In Israel, the President has powers of granting clemency. And smack at the top of Peres' new presidential appeasements will be his granting clemency to imprisoned PLO mass murderer Marwan Barghouti! (For more information on Barghouti go here and here)

All of which brings us to the new song about Israeli President Shimon Peres, with apologies to Irving Berlin:
The Peres Presidential Waltz
To the tune of Fred Astaire singing "Cheek to Cheek"
(written by: Irving Berlin)

Heavens, Nine Elevens,
And my brain hurts so that I can hardly speak;
For I cannot find the sanity I seek,
When he's dancing with Barghouti, sheik to sheik.

Heavens, Nine Elevens,
Cause the Knesset chose a loser and a geek;
And it's soon to be Barghouti's lucky streak,
When he's dancing with Barghouti, sheik to sheik.

Oh! He loves to patronize us,
Oslo victims in his heap;
But that doesn't scare me half as much,
As his prancing sheik to sheik.

Oh! he loves to take us floating,
With no paddles down his creek;
And he loves to go appeasing,
when he's dancing sheik to sheik.

The Peres Waltz,
Barghouti's arm about him;
No terror halts,
He'll produce more 9-11s:

Heavens, Nine Elevens,
and I'm speechless at this presidential freak;
And I cannot find the sanity I seek
Cause he's dancing with Barghouti, sheik to sheik.

The Hamas and Fatah Parties' Harsh Campaign Trail

by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz

Recent reports from that bastion of Arab democracy, the pride of former US President Jimmy Carter, the Palestinian Authority, indicate that the race between the duly elected Hamas party and its rival, the moderate Fatah party, is heating up. The campaign trail, as many politicians know, can be murder.

Why, just yesterday (Monday), Fatah candidates launched a scathing attack on Prime Minister Ismail Haniyeh (Hamas), assailing both his domestic and administrative positions. Emphasizing their dissatisfaction with the current Hamas administration, Fatah politicians bombarded the Prime Minister with harsh criticism, but Haniyeh was not available for comment.

The race between the duly elected Hamas party and the moderate Fatah party is heating up.

However, the new Fatah attacks did not develop in a vacuum. The previous day, both Hamas and Fatah politicians were involved in some serious "spin doctoring," but in the end, all the competition only caused leading members from both parties to fall drastically in the eyes of the voting public.

Not willing to leave the field to their rivals, Hamas party PR consultants advocated a response to what they felt was a dirty Fatah campaign tactic. Hamas politicians didn't waste time and by the late morning today, they too had peppered the office of PA President Mahmoud Abbas (Fatah) with a trenchant reply to his party's earlier political moves.

Also this morning, organized protests by vocal Hamas party supporters outside the home of a representative from the Fatah party led to very heated arguments between supporters of the two democratic factions. According to just one anecdote from the campaign trail, a woman in Gaza City was so inconvenienced by politicians vying for her support that she was forced to permanently alter her daily routine.

Aside from issues related to foreign affairs, certain dedicated Hamas candidates have also staked out a position on the Fatah party's failed hospitalization policy. Breaking long-standing PA parliamentary protocol, they have gone so far as to call anyone who opposes them a "traitor."

Fatah party spokespeople indicated that they were prepared to take their campaign on the road, to Judea and Samaria, in order to convince voters there not to lend their support to Prime Minister Haniyeh's party. Their main campaign strategy in Judea and Samaria, Fatah political advisors said, would be to completely "eliminate the competition." They feel that can easily be accomplished with some well-placed public advertising and, with an eye to the hip Ramallah voter base, possibly some killer street theater.

Meanwhile, in Israel, clashes among rival gangs continue. Militants led by the warlord
Meanwhile, in Israel, clashes among rival gangs continue.
Ehud Barak appear to have succeeded in crushing their rivals from the Ayalon camp. This was made possible when Barak struck a temporary alliance with the ruthless terror leader Shelly Yechimovitch. However, armed men loyal to Ami Ayalon are continuing to make their presence felt, sniping at Barak faction leaders whenever the opportunity presents itself. As of now, the bloodthirsty campaign continues.

In a parallel clash, octogenarian godfather Shimon Peres is strong-arming leaders of rival armed groups to join him in a jihad for control of the Israeli regime. Peres, however, is facing tough competition from Reuven "Ruby" Rivlin's coalition of tribal clans. The Laborite clan leader Colette Avital is in hiding from the deadly Peres, but Peres's relentless gunmen appear to be on Avital's trail as of Tuesday morning. We'll have more on that story as it develops.

Some Career Advice for Norman Finkelstein

by Steven Plaut

Norman Finkelstein is arguably the most openly anti-Semitic "Jew" on the planet, and the competition for that title is tough. 

He has made a career out of defaming Holocaust Survivors, painting them as thieves and liars, mocking the Holocaust and its victims, and cheering anti-Jewish terrorism and violence.  He spent last summer cheering the Hezbollah attacks on Israel.  He has defamed Elie Wiesel for years.  He trivializes the Holocaust and denies that Six Million Jews were murdered by Nazi Germany (although does not claim that no Jews at all were killed).   He works closely with Neo-Nazi groups and Holocaust Deniers, and is widely proclaimed to be the "Jewish David Irving".  Finkelstein claims Germany is the victim of Jewish extortion.  He has publicly praised David Irving (who claims no Jews were killed at Auschwitz) as a great historian.  He is considered to be a Holocaust Denier by the Anti-Defamation League and the Simon Wiesenthal Center.  He has been strongly denounced by Prof. Alan Dershowitz as an anti-Semite and fraud.  In Israel, Finkelstein has been widely praised by anti-Israel Ben Gurion University extremist lecturer Neve Gordon.

Finkelstein had been employed in the past few years by DePaul University, a large Catholic college in Chicago.  Before that he had been fired from every academic post he ever held.  His entire "academic record" consists of anti-Semitic "books". 

This past weekend, DePaul University officially gave Finkelstein the boot, denying him tenure, and in effect firing him (effective some time this coming academic year).  It is doubtful he will ever be able to hold any sort of academic post again in the civilized world.

That being the case, the question arises of what Normie will now be doing for a second career.  Being helpful sorts, we have given the matter some thought and have come up with a list of possible career moves for him, once DePaul requires that he remove his carcass off campus in a few weeks:

1.  He can be the new Dean of History at the University of Teheran.

2.  He can grew side curls and join the Neturei Karta.

3.  He can open a fast food stand that serves fish and chips to the British Association of University Professors and the University and College Union.

4.  He can be Avrum Burg's butler in France.

5.  He can become official Baathist mascot at soccer games in Damascus.

6.  He can write a Master's thesis under Ilan Pappe about how the Jews murdered all the Arabs in Atlantis.

7.  He can get a job tearing squares of toilet paper on Friday afternoons for Chicago area synagogues, before the sabbath.

8.  He can become a make-pretend cowboy and then chase make-pretend Indian Ward Churchill.

9.  He can paint circles on his rear end and then pose next to the security fence around the Gaza Strip.

10.  He can learn ebonics, change his name to Norman X, and go to work for Louis Farrakhan.

11.   He can be adopted legally as the son of Ernst Zundel, Neo-Nazi deported from Canada to Germany.

12.   He can be David Irving's prison honey.

13.   He can join Gush Shalom.

14.   He can serve as designated driver for when Mel Gibson gets drunk.

15.   He can be the chief pimp for the "Women in Black".

16.   He can test explosives belts for the Hamas.

17.   He can write some more anti-Semitic garbage with Alexander Cockburn.

18.   He can work as a shabbas goy at the Ramat Hovav garbage dump.

19.   He can serve as pothole filler.

20.   He can get tenured at Ben Gurion University.