Haetzni on "Assassination is Relative"

What would have happened had the assassination attempt against Olmert succeeded?
Nadav Haetzni is hands down the best columnist and commentator in the Israeli mainstream press. He writes in Maariv, the only Hebrew newspaper having a real semblance of political pluralism. Most of the columnists in Haaretz dream of the day when the Israel is destroyed and replaced by an Arab Palestinian state having a nice Jewish minority as dhimmis. (Having tired of claiming how Israel is a warmonger trying to ignite a war with Syria, Haaretz columnist Zvi Barel this morning writes that Israel is a warmonger trying to ignite a war with Egypt!)  A better name for Haaretz would be al-Ard.  Yediot Ahronot is in the middle, having some non-leftist columnists. But only Maariv really allows non-leftists what almost amounts to equal time.

Reaching a Settlement (By Way of Route 443)

Anarchists, far-leftists, Palestinian Authority Arabs and associated supporters of terrorism blocked Route 443 this morning. The four-lane, two-way divided highway connects the city of Modiin and Jerusalem, as well as feeding into a major expressway taking travelers from Jerusalem all the way to Tel Aviv. 443 is also the only direct access route for residents of the Binyamin region wishing to travel to the capital.

The road-blockers were protesting the fact that since the start of the Oslo War (also called the Second Intifada) in 2000, 443 has been mostly off-limits to cars from the Palestinian Authority. The protesters claimed that the restriction on PA vehicles is an act of "apartheid."

So, what's new? Anything the state of Israel does that protects Israelis from non-Israelis is, by warped leftist definition, an act of apartheid.

The terror-facilitating ISM issued its own press release on the 443 sabotage in which it quotes the self-defined Israeli "human rights group" B'tselem as contesting the military's claim that keeping PA vehicles off the roads protects Israelis from drive-by shootings and infiltrations.

According to the ISM, "B'tselem explains that if Israel was only interested in protecting the lives of Israelis, rather than annexing the area, it could limit or even prohibit the travel of Israelis on the road...."

Interesting. You see, for ISM, B'tselem and the others, to "prohibit the travel of Israelis on the road" is perfectly fine. However, Heaven forfend that you suggest to "prohibit the travel of PA residents on the road." That, you racist, is apartheid.

This got me thinking. What if B'tselem was not a "human rights organization" but a rape crisis center?
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"Hello, this is B'tselem.... Yes, ma'am, I understand you've been raped, but if you really wanted to protect yourself, then you would have stayed indoors, rather than trying to prevent strange men from attacking you like you did.

"Oh, yes. And maybe wear a burka...."

Incidentally, in the above ISM press release, Modiin is called a "settlement". In other ISM materials, Maccabim, which is an older town that was absorbed into Modi'in, is called a settlement. And this is just the publicly available stuff and without mentioning the Jewish neighborhoods in Jerusalem built after 1967. This is no minor point.

Modiin, a city of over 65,000 people, is within the pre-1967 borders of the State of Israel.

Cain was a Patsy!

There are numerous inconsistencies in the official report in Genesis!!

Obviously doctored scene taken from Genesis surveillance tape!

We have received incredible breaking news.

A team of people claiming to be investigative reporters based in Florida, Ohio, and Jeruslem have announced that they have discovered that Cain was a patsy and that he did not in fact murder Abel.

Numerous pieces of evidence have been brought together in order to derive this conclusion, they insist.  And the inconsistencies in the official report in Genesis about the developments on the day of the assassination must mean that Cain was innocent and had been set up as a patsy by a nefarious conspiracy.

First, they insist, Cain did not in fact stab Abel with an actual knife but rather used a fake rubber knife from a gimmick shop that was picked up in Chinatown.  That explains why there were reports that a passerby down the road was thought to have yelled "Rubber Knife!  Rubber Knife!"

Second, in the surveillance tapes near the exit from the Garden of Eden, Cain's arm appears to be unnaturally long, suggesting some sort of conspiracy was at play.

Third, the very fact that Cain admitted that he murdered Abel when questioned about it proves that he was set up and a victim of a conspiracy.  The fact that Cain later continued to plead guilty and that everyone else in his family agreed that he was guilty just shows how broad the real conspiracy was!  You see, Abel - even after being elected - may have been having second thoughts about his own policies regarding sacrifices and a sinister conspiracy wanted to prevent Abel from changing the menu.  So Cain was a convenient scapegoat.

There are so many inconsistencies in the official report of the Abel murder, insist the investigators and promoters of the Alternative Theory of the Abel Assassination, the one that challenges the accuracy of the report in Genesis.

Why didn't anyone call 911 or even 101 to get emergency medical help?  Why was the palm tree near Cain seen in the surveillance tape as having branches that moved strangely and in an unexplained manner?   And just how many wounds did Abel have?  Initial reports said 12 stab wounds, and later it was claimed in the official commission of investigation that there were  only 11!  But what about the unexplained extra hole in Abel's shirt, cleverly disguised to look like a cigarette burn?  And why did Eve not try to give Abel CPR (not to be confused with CFR!)?  What exactly was Eve REALLY doing when the murder took place?  And how come we have not been shown all the CAT scan images of Abel's corpse?

Meanwhile, several self-proclaimed "journalists" are demanding that Abel's complete set of medical records be published at once.  They also claim that the surveillance tapes near the Garden of Eden exit have been doctored to make it appear that Cain was the murderer.  A popular singer has just come out in favor of releasing Cain from prison so that the real murderer can be identitified.  The conspiracy theorists claim that anyone who rejects their arguments about Cain's innocence must be a paid agent of the forces of darkness and the Council on Foreign Relations.

We will keep you updated on all new developments in this major breaking story!