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Tevet 18, 5768, 12/27/2007

We Demand some Investigations Now!

by Steven Plaut


Michael Lerner can investigate to see if there are any frauds impersonating Rabbis walking around
 Investigate This!
 
Some Important Investigations:
 
President Pervez Musharraf has just announced that he will be investigating thoroughly who was behind the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto.
 
This is a very important and very impressive development. We thought this should be added to several other important investigations that should be immediately initiated:
  1. Abu Mazen should set up a commission to see if there are any Holocaust Deniers among Palestinians.
  2. The Hamas should set up a commission to see if there are any terrorists operating out of Gaza or shooting al-Qassam rockets into Israel.
  3. Ehud Olmert should set up an investigation to see who was responsible for Israel's total failure in the war against Hizbollah in the summer of 2006.
  4. Ilan Pappe can set up an investigation to see if any academics lied about Israelis supposedly conducting massacres of Arabs.
  5. Ben Gurion University can investigate if there are any Israeli schools that have trashed academic standards for the purpose of hiring and promoting anti-Israel leftist extremists.
  6. Haaretz can investigate if there are any treasonous journalists employed in the Israeli media.
  7. Bill Clinton can investigate if there is any hanky-panky taking place in America.
  8. Norman Finkelstein can investigate whether there are any Neo-Nazi pseudo-scholars who have been serving as professors in the Chicago area.
  9. Counterpunch magazine can investigate whether there are any pro-terror Stalinists in America.
  10. Michael Lerner can investigate to see if there are any frauds impersonating Rabbis walking around.
  11. Barry Chamish can investigate to see if there are any mentally unstable people in the "911 Truth" cult of conspiracy theorists.
  12. Reform "Rabbi" Eric Yoffie can investigate whether there are any American Jews endangering and undermining Israel.
  13. Arthur Waskow can investigate if there are any Jews who smoke dope.
  14. OJ can investigate who REALLY killed his ex-wife!



Tevet 15, 5768, 12/24/2007

Inanity, Insanity and a Portent of Calamity - Part II

by Nissan Ratzlav-Katz

According to the latest lunacy out of academia, Jewish soldiers don't rape Arab women because we are racists and see them as sub-humans. 

Yeah. And if we truly respected the Arabs' common humanity, then we would treat them like their brothers do - like the Lebanese army indiscriminately bombed Nahr Al-Bard to
If we truly respected the Arabs' common humanity, then we would treat them like their brothers do.
crush a terrorist group headquartered there or like the Syrian army turned Hama into a parking lot to kill Islamists using the town as a base camp, for example.

And our supply of electricity and basic necessities to Hamas-controlled Gaza is utterly inhumane! My Lord, what have we been thinking? Clearly our not cutting off power and supplies to the Arab territory is an indication that we see them as subhumans.

And our persistent attempts to make peace with them just show our complete disrespect for them and their traditions. We persist, in our superiority complex, in pointedly ignoring Arab desires, wishes and aspirations to destroy Jewish sovereignty of any kind, to see all Jews in Israel dead, subjugated or in flight, to achieve death in a bombing or shooting attack, and their traditional beliefs that Jews are descended from pigs and monkeys.

We, in a display of typical Jewish arrogance, deny them their “narrative,” which ends with a massacre of the Jews in Israel.

What do you mean, “That's different?”

And in other news......

Released Terrorists, With No Blood on Their Hands, Kill 37 People
Two terrorists who murdered 37 people last week in a double suicide bombing attack had been released from prison in a good will amnesty some time ago. Neither of the two men fell under the category of prisoners "with blood on their hands."

Could the two men described above be from the Palestinian Authority? Could their victims be Israelis?

Definitely.

However, that particular news item about "no-blood-on-their-hands" terrorists who went on to accumulate buckets of blood on their hands comes from Algeria. One of the jihadists was a 64-year-old man who had terminal cancer. His only crime until December 11, 2007 - for which he was imprisoned - was being a member of the Muslim fundamentalist Islamic Salvation Front. His younger accomplice, 32 years old, had been arrested on the charge of "supporting terrorist groups."

It has been clearly demonstrated that the overwhelming majority of terrorists released from Israeli jails also return to murderousness. 177 Israelis were killed, and many others wounded, as a result of "good will" releases between 1993-1999 alone.

In a completely unrelated item, Defense Minister Ehud Barak is to meet with Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak in the Sinai this week. The meeting is supposedly part of negotiations with Hamas over their release of IDF Cpl. Gilad Shalit in exchange for dozens of Arab terrorists imprisoned in Israeli jails.




Tevet 14, 5768, 12/23/2007

Olmert as the Cosby Noah

by Steven Plaut


"Right!" - except Ehud is now Left
Oldtimers will recall the Bill Cosby shtick from the 60s based on Noah. I was reminded of it when Ehud Olmert announced recently that he would be spending taxpayer funds to build himself a nice little personal shelter to protect him from Iranian nukes. When the rest of us are cooked, thanks in part to his idiotic policies, he will be able to sit in his little nukefree bunker-ark and contemplate the meaning of life. Like the character invented in the 60s by Bill Cosby.
 
Here are the lyrics to the Cosby shtick, with some minor alterations:
 
 
There's a fella by the name of Ehud
In his bunker ark
Everybody knows he built a bunker ark.
You see,
But very few people know about
the conversation that went on between the Lord and Ehud,
You see, Ehud was in his rec. room
Sawing away, he was making a few things for the home there.
He was a good carpenter!

Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa, whoompa
Ehud!

Somebody call?
Whoompa, whoompa, whoompa

Ehud!

Who is that?
It's the Lord, Ehud

Right!

Where are ya?
What you want? I've been good.
I want you to build yourself a bunker, using Israeli taxpayer funds.

I want you to build yourself a bunker-ark, using Israeli taxpayer funds.

Right!
What's a bunker?

Get some wood build it
300 cubits by 80 cubits by 40 cubits
Right!
Whats a cubit?

Lets see a cubit...I used to know what a cubit was.
Well, don't worry about that, Ehud
When you get that done
Go out into the world and
Collect all of the payoffs from Kadima oligarchs twos by twos,
Male and female, and put them into the bunker.

Right!
Who is this really?
What's going on?
How come you want me to do all these weird things?

Iran's going to destroy the world
Right!
Am I on Candid Camera?

How they gonna do it?
They gonna build nukes right under everyone's nose and the US intelligence people gonna say they buildin' taffy machines.
Right!

Right!


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