Vayigash: Care & Thoughtfulness
Vayigash: Care & Thoughtfulness

The Diplomatic Approach

The portion begins with Judah's representations to a high Egyptian official who was actually his own brother,

He knew exactly what he wanted - justice for his brother Benjamin and no further distress for his aged father.

though at this point he did not recognise him. The first word of the verse could have been different. Instead of vayigash - "And he approached" - it could have been, "And he stepped forward", "And he spoke out", etc. What, then, is the point of the narrative saying "he approached"?

Presumably because the word implies being courteous and diplomatic; not a blunt confrontation, but an endeavour to be gracious and tactful. Professional diplomats know well how much that kind of approach costs them. They have to contain themselves and not lose their temper. It's not easy. The sages say, Kol hat'chalot kashot - "All beginnings are difficult." The Chinese have a saying about how hard it is to take the first step.

Of all the brothers, Judah may well have been the most diplomatic, though he also had his moments when his diplomatic control wavered. In this instance, he knew exactly what he wanted - justice for his brother Benjamin and no further distress for his aged father Jacob - but he also knew that he had to tread lightly at the beginning and try to get the Egyptian ruler on side. That is why he said, "Let your servant please speak a word in my lord's ear." (Genesis 44:18)

Bluster, bellowing or bravado would not have been nearly so effective as a first ploy. The Midrash, however, adds that he gradually had to adopt a stronger tone because he felt that justice for his brother and father demanded no less (Genesis Rabbah 93:7).

Corn, Bread, Wine and Beans

Joseph and his brothers are reconciled. Joseph sends the brothers back to their father in Canaan with corn, bread and food, and "all the good things of Egypt." (Genesis 45:23) The Talmud (Megillah 16b) has two theories about "the good things of Egypt". One view says that Joseph sent wine in order to cheer up his father's spirits (Psalms 104:15); another view thinks he sent beans, which are "good for aching hearts".

Joseph had been constantly thinking of his father.

Why beans are an antidote for depression is, of course, the subject of rabbinic debate. Some say that beans calm you down and help you to sleep.

Whichever food the Biblical verse has in mind, it is clear that Joseph had been constantly thinking of his father throughout the years that he was away from home. He realised that his father had been yearning to see his son again.

So often it happens that circumstances separate parents and children, and they never cease worrying about each other. In earlier generations there were many times when the separation was the result of external events; these days, it can be that one has to go where there is a job. Whatever the reason, the reunion is an unbelievable joy.