Question: I am a twenty-year-old woman and, God willing, I will be getting married soon. My question is this: Am I
The sages forbade the sale of a Torah scroll except in order to fulfill one of two commandments: the commandment to study Torah and the commandment to bear children.
permitted, according to Jewish law, to postpone pregnancy for two years in order to finish the majority of my university studies without the burden of pregnancy and parenting? I should point out that my future husband and I want to have a fairly large family, five or six children. The question is: Can I postpone birth by two years?

Answer: A person may not delay fulfilling the commandment to have children. On the contrary, one must always hasten to perform Torah precepts. In this vein, Rabbi Yoshia teaches: "It is written 'Be careful regarding the matzahs' (Exodus 12:17), and just as a person must not allow the [dough of the] matzahs to ferment, so one must not allow the mitzvahs (Torah commandments) to 'ferment'; rather, if you have the opportunity to fulfill a commandment, do it immediately." And Rabbi Shimon bar Lakish adds, "You must not skip over the precepts"; i.e., do not postpone a commandment that has come your way, even in order to fulfill another commandment (Yalkut Shimoni, Parshat Bo 201).

Now, in view of the fact that there is an obligation to fulfill commandments with alacrity, it is clearly unacceptable to cause a commandment's fulfillment to be delayed. This is especially true when it comes to so important a commandment as bearing children, a commandment upon which the world depends and by virtue of which Man becomes partner with the Holy One, blessed be He. The sages forbade the sale of a Torah scroll except in order to fulfill one of two commandments: the commandment to study Torah and the commandment to bear children (see Tractate Megillah 27a; Beit Shmuel, Even HaEzer 1, 15-16). Sometimes there is a particular problem, physical or mental, that allows for postponing the commandment, but it is proper to consult with a Torah scholar in order to be sure that the problem indeed justifies delaying the obligation.

Postponing is No Solution
I would add, however, that I do not quite understand your question. Why do you think that after your studies it will be easier for you to have children? Most subjects studied in the university can be covered in half a day, or slightly more, and the studies last for only about seven and a half months a year. By contrast, most jobs necessitate more than half a day's work and continue for about eleven months of the year. If you think it will be difficult to give birth while you are a student, how will you be able to do so after you have entered the working world?

In truth, this is a matter of determination and priority; the more a person grasps the importance of family and children, the more desire and willpower one has to bear children, to raise them, and to educate them. Just as you will have strength at the age of thirty to give birth, to take care of children, and to work, so too today you will have the strength to learn a profession and to begin to raise children. And just as at the age of thirty you will not be able to immerse yourself entirely in work outside the home, so too today, you will be unable to immerse yourself entirely in studies and establishing yourself in work.

The Problem of Religious Colleges
Question: All of the above is true as far as university study goes, but there are women who study in colleges where students must attend classes from morning to evening. In such cases it is indeed easier for women when they graduate and begin teaching. What, then, should a woman do if she finds herself in this situation?

Answer: This is indeed a painful problem. A number of young women inquired regarding this problem and I advised them to transfer to an institution in which the study lasts fewer hours each day, so that they are able to dedicate more time to establishing their families.

True, from the perspective of the religious framework these colleges have an advantage, but it is forbidden to endanger the family, marriage, pregnancy and childbearing in order to learn in such institutions. However, where there is reason to believe that a woman will deteriorate spiritually at the university, it is best that she remain in a religious framework.

Best to Give Birth When Young
I would go even further and say that, in many respects, the earlier you give birth, the easier your life will be. Even if you know how many children you want to have, it is best to have them when young. The earlier the pregnancies,
When your children grow you will be able to invest more time in your work.
the easier they are and the less danger there is. Younger parents have more strength to bear the burden of rearing and educating children. When your children grow you will be able to invest more time in your work outside of the home and in nurturing your talents.

Moreover, because we only live so long in this world, one who postpones birth will naturally see her offspring for fewer years. For example, she will enjoy fewer weddings, births and celebrations of her offspring.

It must also be added that pregnancy is not guaranteed to anybody, and preventing oneself from giving birth is like preventing Divine blessing and generosity. Who can say if when a woman is finally ready to have children she will merit Divine generosity?

Send comments or questions for Rabbi Melamed to Yonaton Behar at yonatonb@yahoo.com.