Purim Shpiel: The Reawakening

It is the custom to do satire on Purim, but it wouldn't be so bad if this really happened.

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Larry Domnitch,

A growing wing of American Jewry associated with the political Far Left hosted an event, which was intended to be a symposium for the Jewish left to hear views, and exchange ideas. It was also meant to be a pep rally of sorts but it soon turned out to be a shocker for all in attendance. The historic congregation, “Lost Identity,” on Manhattan’s Upper West Bank was filled to capacity, with overflow crowds outside, as representatives of the many groups advocating Israel’s territorial retreat, joined in the communal bashing of the one and only Jewish State, and its occupation of vast land masses throughout the Middle East.

Outside, a total of 14 protestors from the organizations, “Keep Israel Strong,” “American Jews for Israel,” “The Jewish Expression,” and “Blue and White,” along with over a dozen additional supporting groups held signs and chanted “No Surrender, No Retreat” and “We Love Israel.” The groups’ spokesperson, Rebecca Powerless referenced the meager turnout stating that a few members had missed their bus. “If not for that, we would have had several additional participants.”

The congregation’s Rabbi, Morris Placater, offered the invocation which included these words referring to the Israelis, “maybe our voices will rise up and persuade the stubborn to mend their ways.”

The meeting was sponsored by Richard Disgust and the Tzuris foundation for endangering Israel and Western Civilization and organized by the advocacy group ‘The Empty House.’ Among the speakers was Robert Givaway from the peace advocacy group, Dead End, which claims after weighing all available possibilities, a terror base in Judea and Samaria with the creation of a PLO state would only enhance regional cooperation and indeed benefit Israel. “It is their best and only real option in the face of growing threats of isolation from the world community. It is better to surrender what is yours to your foes and be more exposed to increased danger than to be shunned internationally.” He added that Dead End is a true Zionist group, since it does acknowledge the Jews have some right to a state.

While addressing the audience, the leader of Jewish Voice for Capitulation, Mark Chaosnik, posed the question, “Does the JVC oppose the existence of Israel?” He continued, “We just oppose a state of Jews in that area once known as Judea.” Chaosnik beckoned the Israelis to “Listen to reason” and consider new ideas that could bring an end to the conflict by agreeing to the demands of Israel’s detractors, “We implore the people of Israel to open their hearts and let in those who seek to end conflict by their own ways and means. Their tunnels, missiles and guns are aimed at you but not at your hearts.”

Chaosnik added, “It is embarrassing to us that Israel does not adhere to the wishes of international leaders who do know what’s best for them and just abide by all the UN resolutions. Oh! I am so exhausted from all the ridicule!”

Rabbi Peacanyprice, director of the Alliance of American Liberal Rabbis addressed the audience. “Why won’t they listen?” He asked referring to the Israeli people and leaders. “So many members of our clergy over the years have pleaded with our Israeli cohorts to just stop building in Jerusalem. To just make way for a PLO State and just comply! It is so antagonistic! We have sent petitions to the Prime Minister, one of which had well over one thousand members signed on demanding the type of action we know that will bring peace” Peacanyprice stated that the AALR will remain vocal and vigilant on this issue “until the walls of East Jerusalem begin to fall.”

Columbia University student and activist leader of “Lost Moral Compass,” the advocacy group for Jewish surrender to world pressure, Wayne Naïve described how supporting the BDS movement was a way he managed to bond with Muslim students on campus. “BDS has made so many inroads within the college community; especially with the CP (Colligates for Palestine). Many of their activists too have become my friends. Why can’t the Israelis see that peace is possible, if they wish it! Look I did it. I made peace.”

Throughout the event, signs were held aloft throughout the Temple decrying the occupation. Some advocated the total abandonment of support for Israel.

When it was the turn of the leader of the event’s organizer, ‘The Empty House,’ Milton Awakenowitz, to speak no one expected the resulting chaos, but his opening words suggested the tumult soon to follow.

“I know what I am expected to say, but I am going to go off script. A nation of fellow Jews, part of an ongoing return to their rightful homeland from a prolonged exile, still struggles for its existence and we stand alongside their enemies and offer our support. Is there anything more shameful? More disgraceful! We have been so wrong. Our place is with our fellow Jews whose agenda is to make a better world in the face of hatred. What has happened to our decency? Today, Iran in its obsessive hatred, plots and plans as it develops missile systems and still works towards becoming a nuclear armed power. Thanks to Iran, Hezbollah is armed with tens of thousands of missiles pointed at Israel. Hamas and other groups are arming themselves and again threatening Israel, and we sit around and berate our fellow Jews who are being threatened, and just want to live in peace. Are we not the fanatics? Are we not the ones worthy of the highest condemnation?”

Awakenowitz paused for a moment and there was a hushed silence in the sanctuary. He began to continue and members of the audience called out in anger for the speaker to be silenced. A moment later, the heckling turned to pandemonium.  Order could not be restored. Awakenowitz, slipped out of a side entrance and was soon found by a reporter, “What happened to you?”

He replied, “I had an epiphany.” “Was it worth it?” “Definitely, now maybe some of them will now think twice before they recklessly act against their own people whose cause is true and just.”