The Charms of Being a Pessimist

We walk among you. People are afraid of us because, darn it, 95 percent of the time we are right.

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Jack Engelhard,

F15 formation on Israel's 60th Independence Day
F15 formation on Israel's 60th Independence Day
Flash90


So once Israel does this, shares the land, the Arabs will... start dancing with us at our Bar Mitzvahs.
Several weeks ago a former Israeli ambassador spoke up to offer his prescription for  “peace in the Middle East” and I was amazed all over again. They always amaze me, these dreamers. They never learn, so, as if the folly of abandoning Jewish Gaza weren’t enough, once again they’re back to a “two-state-solution.”

I won’t mention his name because we’re entering our High Holy Days and I prefer not to do lashon hara (slander, ed.). I’m being watched. For the same reason I won’t mention another Israeli “expert” who came along only yesterday to insist that for the sake of peace, Israel must dismantle itself immediately. Same deal, and the disease keeps spreading among our peaceniks.

King David, by the way, prayed for the utter annihilation of all his enemies – but that’s another column.

There was no “two-state-solution” and there were no “peace processes” when King David ran the show. That ought to be a hint.

So once Israel does this, shares the land, the Arabs will be astonished by these sweet gestures. They will start dancing with us at our Bar Mitzvahs.

Do you remember when it was the very religious among our people who were damned for being “messianic?”

So how about these “Liberals” from inside and outside the faith? Their dream is that the minute Israel and the rest of the West go groveling, capitulate and surrender, everything that ails Fevered Islam will be cured overnight. Islamists who’ve been drinking from intoxicating waters will sober up in a flash the instant we renounce ourselves and submit. So goes their messiah.

Some of my best friends are Liberals. It’s best if we only talk baseball and horseracing. But this time Ben, an Israeli, wanted to talk about a book of mine that just came out, so, foolishly, we talked politics. Can I not see, he asked, all the good that would come from a “two-state-solution?”

I agreed. Much good. A two-state-solution would be terrific… for Hamas and the rest of the terrorists who no longer would need to build tunnels to get inside your living room. They’d be right there on the spot – all that easy access provided by your charitable invitation. One fine morning here’s Abdul in your child’s bedroom, thanks to your generosity.

I already wrote that “The final solution turned out to be the Land of Israel and it’s driving them crazy.”

Moshe Feiglin, a deputy speaker of the Knesset, hit the bulls-eye when he deduced that Israel keeps itself from winning wars because of its infatuation with two states for two peoples. The Gaza War could have been won outright and without Jewish fatalities if Israel’s politicians woke up to reality and really meant business.

But tomorrow – dream the dreamers – Islam will be ready for a New Day, as in Shimon Peres’ “New Middle East.” This too is their dream and their messiah.

We’re also still awaiting the Arrival as in the meantime it only keeps getting worse. So, as opposed to optimists, we plan for just that, the worst.

We’re even ready to admit that the Yankees won’t make it to the playoffs.

We are the pessimists. We walk among you. People are afraid of us because, darn it, 95 percent of the time we are right. We saw it all coming. Everything!

Yes, I put it in a book – “The Bathsheba Deadline” – and I challenge any reader to prove to me where I was wrong about anything. Anything at all!

Using my own eyes and ears and availing myself of such sources as Daniel Seaman, Israel’s media maven, I told it straight how news is manipulated.

Not because I’m smart did I see it all coming, Hamas, the Media Jihad, the fact that “The Koran has arrived and it has come to devour the Bible.”

But because I am a pessimist – that’s what made it all so clear.

Good morning, dreamers. We, the pessimists – we’ll keep you posted as often as you keep driving over a cliff.

Jack Engelhard writes a regular column for Arutz Sheva. New from the novelist, the Middle East/media thriller “The Bathsheba Deadline.” Engelhard wrote the int’l bestseller “Indecent Proposal” that was translated into more than 22 languages and turned into a Paramount motion picture starring Robert Redford and Demi Moore.  Website: www.jackengelhard.com